The story so far:
"So little Strand..." the Mouthian began, its many smaller mouths, and still the ball of insects deep at its core buzzing angrily. "Do you have what it takes to beat me?"
caasi simply shrugged.
"You love the Lost Wolf, you two are joined together yes?" she only nodded at her opponents queries. She and Blue Spiderman touched the small tennis ball like object, while the Mouthian licked it, and for a moment, everything tasted like Barbara Hicks dinner rolls.
She found herself floating in a vast and open space some two light years wide and tall. In the center of it all was a veritable minefield of gas hypergiants numbering in the hundreds of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Blue Spiderman had somhow fell into the path of a oncoming star and was vaporized in a way only befitting his horrid pun making skills. The Mouthian faded into view with a somber look on his face.
"Before this match egins, I have something vital I must tell you. I want you to know my name Bloody Strands." Caasi wasn't interested in the Mouthian's history, nor the creatures name. It wasn't in her interest, and yet, he told her anyways. "My name littles strands, is Dr. Ectaegonopus. But everyone calls me Shoop. And right now?" the Mouthian started gathering particles of purest energy in front of him as the fat, cracked and stitched together lips smiled. "I'M A CHARGING MY LAZER!" the Great Mouthian said with a tremendous roar as the large ball of crackling energy shrunk down to the size of a marble as another layer of darker energy gathered around it. Caasi almost didnt have time to make a move as Blue Spiderman reappeared behind her and launched his own attack.
"P??? prak?ra: Sun?m? pan?j?!" he called out as his web shooters unleashed two tornadoes of quickly freezing waterand launched them at caasi.
She was in a dangerous position, attacks from both sides, no allies to help her out, her strands abilities almost shot to hell. Things were not looking good for the Bloody Strands
Caasi dodged Blue Spiderman's frozen water attack, and side stepped Dr. Ectaegonopus's laser blast, the beam of highly condensed light smashed through a gas hyper giant in the far distance and set it ablaze, the shock wave nearly scattering the asteroid field near it.
"Wash away the tides of your sin by raining down from the heavens abo-"
"SHUT THE **** UP!" Caasi shouted as she slammed her fist down the super heroes throat and whispered some ancient incantations. "Vera arsebobis gap’art’oebas!" she whispered as she felt energy flow to the tips of her fingers, sending terabytes of information slamming through his body.
"Have you forgotten about me!? I am the great Mouthian, Dr. Shoop Ectaegonopus! BLARGH!" the Mouthian shouted as more beams of energy slammed outwards like hundreds of bees, flitting and scrambling, diving and rising, looping and careening around Caasi until they formed a sphere around her. "I'M A CHARGING MY LASERS!" he shouted as he laughed insatiably, as his goggle eyes twirled rapidly around the disembodied mouth.
Caasi smiled as the circuitry slammed out of Blue Spiderman's rib cage and changed outer space into a circuit laced reality where her skin was a pale white, and bits and bytes zipped past her at an amazing rate.
"This is the power of your element?" the Mouthian asked quietly. "My slave," he continued without hesitation, "My slave was brought here not by his accord, he was brought here on a single whim by both the Door and the Chasm. They wanted to have a conversation, and needed a conduit with which to do so, by no means was it a pleasant experience for him. Their very words, rife with forces that no one should understand, ripped him apart like ten thousand years in a supernova, his nerves frayed, his bones shattered like dropped glass, his muscles were ripped from their tendons, and finally, in a seemingly obvious gesture of mercy, his mind snapped in twain."
Caasi dodged Blue Spiderman's first swing, and kept an eye on Dr. Ectaegonopus as he took a breath. "You're talking about Barney Fife, aren't you?" she asked plainly.
The Mouthian agreed. "Yes, that I am, I do not know why he was chosen as a mere plaything, nor do I feel it is any relevance to this battle or you. I have seen that man do incredible things with the power I've both given and sacrificed myself to give him." she was taken aback by this sudden burst of sentimentality from the Mouthian. "I would like to propose a deal, I hate Blue Spiderman and his aquatic puns. I will join team red if you help me destroy this insufferable cretin. Maybe then, I can be reunited with my slave, and we can finally break loose of this imprisoning Existence."
Caasi thought about it for less than a few seconds and agreed. It was about time someone started talking smart game play. She barely dodged the second swing of Blue Spiderman's frozen club as the Mouthian began charging his laser once again, his mouth gathering feircely bright light as Caasi darted through the skittering hero's attacks.
"Am I all washed up? Is this whirlpool of fate going to drag me down to my watery death?" he contemplated as the Bloody Strands formed a scythe with her arms and swung hard. The blade slashing the hero's arms off, and cutting through his mask, revealing a single green eye staring back at her, it caught her off guard until she saw a moon sized blast of light coming from Dr. Ectaegonopus's direction.
"****!" she shouted as Blue Spiderman's last words seemed to iron themselves into her memory.
"Just remember... this is only the first round."
The Mouthian laughed as the beam of pure energy pulsed with each chuckle. "Yes... Holo-Julie, I have a team change request to be made. APPEAR BEFORE THE MIGHTY DR. ECTAEGONOPUS!" Holo-Julie did this and agreed to his terms.
"We have a special announcement to be made! There are no pillows allowed in the bathrooms any more!" there was an awkward pause while the hologram made the second announcement. "The Great Mouth, now known as Dr. Ectaegonopus, is now on Team Red!
Inside the swirling mass of ones and zeroes, there laid, in its digital bed a elderly sprite, who had the looks of James Darcy, the voice of Bing Crosby, and the flatulence of Rodney Dangerfield after one too many bean and cheese burritos. He had been watching the third match with utter glee and hysteria. His sprite son, knew something was wrong with him, as he was suffering from electronic Dementia, something only gained when something electronic comes into contact with the virus known only as Brenchal.
"Vegaaasss..." the elderly sprite said weakly, thrashing around wildly as if coming down with something worse than he already had. "I love you Bren-"
The young sprite wasted no time in ripping the old sprites throat out with his bare hands, rage penetrated the swirling mass with a defiance that outlasted the old sprites five minute fart. The swirling mass of ones and zeroes, that had once been a pristine and colorful white, was now tinged a dirty and dusty brown, the smell over powering the sprites olfactory nerves and causing every drop of digital blood to rush to his head and burst it like some ugly, infected, not happy water baloon being thrown against a cliff face.
Three seconds later, the swirling mass of ones, zeroes, and gas was obliterated by the reemergence of Blue Spiderman, who had gone under some sort of evil transformation. Caasi and Dr. Ectaegonopus were not happy about this choice either. But the worst came when Holo-Julie, in all her technological glory appeared with a new twist.
"Team Red and Green, due to the unforseen inclusion of the circuit board battle field, we have added a new twist! It is that not only will you have to fight against each other, but now, you'll be fighting against the Army of Evel. They are voracious, dark, and dirty, they will point out all your weaknesses, and revel in your untimely death, and laugh as they dance on your grave with howls of salvation! But, they can also become your greatest ally!"
Holo-Julie laughed as she faded away from the arena, her programmed mind set ablaze by the possiblities of the new twists she was developing. "Yes... she must pay for Joseph Arhem's failure... Joseph is mine and mine alone! And no one may have him! Round two will commence in three... two... one." the circuit world battlefield sparked to life as servers buzzed and crackled, IP addresses loaded up, and billions, upon billions of chat windows popped up from the Face Book.
The electricity that slammed around was almost too much for Dr. Ectaegonopus as he unleashed blast after blast of his lasers, but they just kept coming.
Storm clouds gathered together in small clumps and the thunder sounded like Brenchals cries for Vegas, as as two generals from the Army of Evel stepped out of the chat windows, their bodies looking blank and naked as they hung in the air, limp like ragdolls.
"Are they?" Caasi asked, as Blue Spiderman foolishly charged in and punched one in the back of the head. It might as well have been a tap, and his bones may have well been a wine glass dropped off the roof of a building. The first body, female, slender, bald and lidless, looking for all the worlds like a mall store advertisement, Suddenly jerked to life as the loading bar on her forehead reached one hundred percent. The lids glitched into life as the screen that made up her eyes flashed a bright blue swirl pattern.
"You dare touch the mighty Reginalm Hails, first Grand Reaper Scythe General of the first legion of his greatness!? I'LL SHOW YOU!" Reginalm shouted as she pulled her left hand free of the chat window, and slammed it through Blue Spidermans face. "Diez guadaña castigo!" the General laughed as ten black scythe blades, sharp enough to split Reality in twain with just a twitch, circled around Blue Spidermans neck, waist, arms, legs and chest.
"Will you wash away the rain of your crime soaked past? Or will you let the whirlpools of Fate decide how you drown in the liquids of you-" in the next few seconds, the former hero was slashed, cut, stabbed, amputated, ribboned, fileted, chopped, cut, minced, blended, and diced in a shower of gore, his screaams of pain echoing through the battled field as the pieces hung in mid air.
"Do not take us for fools. Our slumber was disturbed by the demoness Brenchal, and we have come to deliver the final blows to the low beast." Reginalm said slowly, so that each of her words carried the weight of the world in them.
"Do you wish to fight with us, or do you wish to fight against us?" the Mouthian asked quietly, his mind working out the two very different possibilities. Another chat window and a small, pink, and fat thing with beady black eyes, stubs for arms and laceless shoes for legs stepped out of it.
"Kirby... YOU BASTARD!" Reginalm shouted, readying another attack, but was stopped in mid sentence as Holo-Julie faded into view, her smile a devilish one, as Caasi wondered if she would call the match, or give them no heed to the fighting.
"Team Red has officially won the third match... But now the Army of Evel joins in the fray, and new contenders are envoloped in to the unfolding chaos that presents itself!"
Dr. Ectaegonopus did not like where this was heading at all. "Let me guess... we'll have to fight and defeat, one or both sides to get the hell out of here?"
There was a stony silence as the holograms face suddenly turned ugly. "I will have my revenge on you all for killing off my Joseph Arhem, my one true love, my fiance, NO ONE WILL COME BETWEEN ME AND MY MAN! NO ONE!" her sudden change in appearance was to that of a tall muscular transvestite with red hair, a scary as hell Snooky Poof, rodeo clow makup, a tight fitting sequined tube top, and a dress made of rotting meat. Brenchal had arrived. And shehe hadn't shaved in over three weeks. The bitch was back again.
There was a solitary moment of confusion, until Kirby, in a fit of rage that could only be made possible by a two foot tall fat, pink, cherub like thing with no hands or feet, pitter pattered his way to brenchal and jumped into the air, pulling out two massive maces and slamming both into the raging shemales lower back and her right knee. The blows did nothing as shehe simply laughed. "I'm going to evict all of you, one by one!"
Team Red was at a loss for words.
"There will be a new twist bitches, There will be HOH competitions-"
Reginalm smiled, "We don't need a competition to find out whos the Head of Whores around here Brenchal, you take first place. But do go on."
Brenchal let loose what Caasi knew Morgan could only describe as the most volitile, gut wrenching, soul stabbing fart that propelled her high into the air. "STARTING NOW, THERE WILL BE AN EVICTION CERIMONY, AND SINCE I'M HOH ILL PUT DR. ECTAEGONOPUS AND KIRBY UP ON THE BLOCK! Grab a life vest Floaters and Neanderthals, because this storms only getting started!"
Caasi looked at Reginalm with all the calm and patience of a crack addicted walrus getting cattle prodded in the eyes. "**** yeah, lets team up and finish this head of whores. We can't back door shim or the gas will kill us. So just do the ten scythe thingy you killed Blue Spiderman thing with, and be done with this old hag." Reginalms features loaded onto her frame finally as the buffering finished. The almost Arthurian knights armor that molded to her frame was silver, black and gold, the spikes looked like they moved with her heart beat as they covered her neck, chest, torso, wais, legs, arms, and eyes. they then wrapped themselves lightly around each other, and melted into a almost camera like formation. She weilded ten scythes, five in each hand like playing cards, her eyes of the darkest azure, her hair of the lightest shade of brown, almost looking like a golden color. Her face looked almost like a cross of the venice do milo, and the most pissed off soccer mom in the world.
Caasi knew that look, it was the look of someone with a great vengeance to met out.
"The best strategy is simply to mock her every move, thought, and emotional break down until she goes critical. While doing that, we gradually surround her on all sides, angles, and degrees until she drops her guard, after that, we unleash hell and one of us, in her final moments, will kick her into the Pit of Death while screaming 'This isn't insanity, this is Surviving Big Brother, and you've just been evicted bitch!'. Oh yeah, forgot something, Convocar a la técnica: Diez billón arqueros de Evel!" Reginalm concluded as thunder clouds roared and bolts of pure energy and with the speed of a 10G network from Boost Mobile loaded the archers from the portals surrounding the eight foot tall transvestite.
"Here we go." Caasi Gavin said with a deep breath.
In every Planet, solar system, galaxy, Universe, Dimension, Reality, Existence and Nonexistence, Every Core of being, every person and creature watching knew the ultimate taboo had been unleashed in the Surviving Big Brother house.
They knew what it meant, and some enjoy the prospect of it, and others wanted no part of it.
They knew they didn't have a choice in the matter.
What this meant to them was that an end was coming. A end to every war, to the trillions of years of violence, to the Cores continual message that they should destroy each other because of their alliances.
Even the Key felt the paradigm shifting chaotically, its goals rapidly shifting like the tides of war, and the tides of peace.
It knew, for all intents and purposes, that the results from the outcome would have reverberating consequences for all sides.
Its own goals lost in the quagmire of its own self delusion.
The Door and the Chasm, two of its carefully and most intricate pawns had moved everything into place, like a row of carefully aligned dominoes. It just needed a single gust of wind in the right direction, and all would fall into place.
The key knew this couldn't happen yet, though the Golden and Bloody Strands had knocked out too many of the pieces of its plans, that it hoped the collateral damage would be enough.
The Key's only hope, remained with the small canine that resided next to Sasha Obama in the glitching remains of the Waking Dimension, located in the Reality of the mind, that was formely guarded by Asteroth. Technarl, the last remaining piece of him that lived, had passed on responsability for its continued existence, to both Aneeh, and someone that no one would ever expect.
"Mother **** Teddy Ruxbin." Barney Fife said slowly.
Back in the circuit battlefield, another, much smaller, group of dark red portals had opened up. Kirby looked up and saw the smiling face of Jeffordan, in his Humilitard, with a nail bat coming straight down at him. "The army of Jefforadon has arrived. NONE SHALL PASS!"
Kirby simply punched shim in the crotch. "Shut the hell up and go find something to eat.
Upon closer inspection, Caasi noticed that Reginalms armor glowed a soft trio of red, gold and purple. She took note that the spikes of bone were actually spires of precious gemstones like diamonds, rubies, opals that had every hue of the rainbow in them, emeralds that shone the deepest hues of green, and tigers eyes whose colors of brown and soft yellow swirled like London fog in the morning as someone passed through them.
"Lets get to it."
Nothing moved for a while as the circuit bttlefield became a place that Caasi had often heard about, but never visited. It was the battle field where Morgan had sacrificed himself to contain the Beast. It looked like a hilly irish plain, more than that, the slopes themselves were steep enough to almost be considered tidal waves of earth. There were hundreds of moss covered shields, pieces of broken armor, bones that stuck out of the ground like outreaching markers that let any visitors know where the owners, or parts of them lay.
"It seems only fitting that we fight here on the famous battle field." Reginalm sighed. The Reaper Scythe General looked at her feet and saw the empty eye sockets of a Deom skull looking up at her as if to question why they had come to this haunted location, a location that started off a dominoe effect of turbulent fights, countless lives lost, and the eventual tipping of the scales.