The story so far:
"NINJA ART: BLACK SWAN REQUIEM!"
The tiny person was slammed into the gorund by the pure force of the words, and pounded deeper into the three foot crater that it created. The Hyperwolf shot from his chair, and proceeded to pound the everloving **** out of the self righteous person.
"NINJA ART: BLACK SWAN REQUIEM, FAILING GRADE!" The Hyperwolf shouted gleefully as the tiny person stood up once more, distraught over the fact that he had missed Oprahs Book Of The Month segment.
"HOW DARE YOU SIR! I WILL HEAD HOME TO WRITE A VERY HEAVILY WORDED LETTER OF COMPLAINT!"
The Hyperwolf simply looked over at the messed up desk he was sitting at and watched as the final seconds of his allotted time ran out on him.
"Horse hooves." He muttered silently as he walked away from the complaining tiny person, who upon further inspection, had on a tweed jacket, a ducktail hairstyle, and a Yakuza tattoo on one side of his face.
"Oprah." He muttered to himself as the doors closed behind him. "Powerful woman." He continued as he bolted away from the place he had stopped for a short rest period. "... Doesn't ring a bell." Were the last words he spoke in a long time as he passed through more strange lands without incident.
Kim had been following the energy trail that he had left behind. Her blue eyes scanned the damage to the tiny library as the tiny man in the tweed jacket huffed and puffed over his show being over.
"HE INTERRUPTED MY SHOW WITH HIS CLICKETY KLACK, CLICKETY KLACK, CLICKETY KLACK! Oprah is my god! Her words are like devine wisdom, her guests are the priests, and the gifts she hides under her audiences chairs are astounding!"
"Shut up already you annoying fool. You're damned lucky he didn't kill you." The tiny man in the tweed jacket stopped his angry complaining and looked up at the blond woman next to him. "Still... What'd you do to set him off like that?" Kim asked curiously as she walked over to where the Hyperwolf was sitting not half an hour before.
"I told him he was typing too loudly!"
"That's it? Wow, no wonder."
"No wonder what? Those keyboards are loud as it is!" The tiny man protested.
"Shut it, I'm done with you now. Go back to your Tivoed episode of Oprah. Which, you could've just put on earbuds and saved yourself a beatdown." She replied, annoyed as well.
The tiny man simply looked back at his ruined laptop. "I can't. When I got annoyed, I just poured water over the keyboard... That's the tenth one this week." He replied in earnest.
Kim socked him in the head hard enough to plant him into the ground.
"I'm going now. I see you again, I'll do more than just plant one on your head. I'll **** murder you." Kim shouted as she walked away, leaving the tiny man in the tweed jacket to his own personal demons.
Blake, Bobby, Skylar, and Daniel arrived fifty minutes after she left, the tiny man in the tweed jacket still fuming over his lost laptop as the gorup derezzed their Lightcycles.
"Well, we're here. All we have to do is wait out the storm and hope for the best." Blake mentioned through his green helmet visor, reading vast amounts of data as Holoahl presented it to him.
"So how long do you think this is going to last, because we have got to catch up to Morgan as fast as we can!" Bobby asked quaintly.
"Um, hello!? Did you see what happened to Tom Jones, not to mention the film critic? Those pidgeons are giant **** ****!" Daniel protested, still mourning the loss of yet another Vietnam veteran he didn't know all that well to begin with.
"What the **** are you on Daniel!?" Skylar complained.
The tiny man in the tweed jacket pulled out another laptop and began rewatching the Oprah episode again, getting annoyed by the group of men that were chattering on fifty feet behind him.
"Well, one things for sure, we've got plenty of reading material here at this place. okay, here's the plan, fan out and browse for books containing mythological references, foreign langauges, and weapon types. Then, for the next-" blake started ordering as the tiny man in the tweed jacket walked up behind him.
"Shut it little guy. This has got nothing to do with you!"
"You... Are intterupting my Oprah time. NO ONE... Interrupts my Oprah time!"
Blake looked towards the source of the voice, and found himself instantly filled with the type of hatrid reserved for the special occasions, that for him was a tie between the after effects of eating a bad potato and trying to play hide and seek with a sloth. "i dont like you... and i have a feeling, that oprah doesnt like you either."
The tiny man in the tweed jacket became hilariously enraged as he began to grow into a six foot tall, three hundred and fourty pound, slightly older gentleman with a bowler cap, an umbrella, and a taste with really bad Starwars quotes. "YOU ARE ABOUT TO JOIN THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON!" Skylar, now more irritated than ever, summoned two rather stupid sharp looking, wide bladed Zweihanders.
"You... Will... DIE!" He roared as the mostly empty building began shushing him. "The tiny man will crush you under the tutalge of Yoday!"
"THAT'S YODA YOU **** STOOGE! YO-****-DA!" Skylar roared again as he lost control and launched himself at the once tiny man in the tweed jackets, performing a direct hit spiral cross slash. The blades slashed straght through the once tiny man without noticable effect.
Blake summoned his massive chainsaw shurikens and bolted towards the once again tiny man in the tweed jacket, performed a balance clone jutsu and twisted in the air and he and the clone performed a twenty eight hit slashing combo that ended in a quadruple lariat. The tiny man simply stood there, becoming more enraged as glowing blood vessels pulsed from his hands, temples, and exposed legs.
"WATCH OUT!" Daniel shouted, "HE'S VERICOSING! HES **** VERICOSING!"
All of a sudden, for no reason at all, Kobe Briant and Gandalf the Grey appeared in a puff of smoke.
Kobe looked at Gandalf. "Hey Gandy, what's my game plan today?"
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Gandalf screamed at the top of his lungs, slamming his staves into the ground, a shockwave of pure force ripping outwards. "Damn gandy, you got skills. I SHALL NOT PASS.... TO YOU!" That being said, they exited the library, flipping the tiny man off as the doors shuttered behind him.
The tiny man in the tweed jacket glowed immesnely as his eyes glowed white with power.
"I TOLD YOU ALL! I KEPT TELLING YOU THAT NO ONE INTERRUPTS MY OPRAH TIME! NOT EVEN WHEN I'VE ALREADY TIVOED IT! WHEN I WANT PEACE AND QUIET! IT'S NOT JUST THE ROOM I'M IN AT THE MOMENT! IT'S THE WHOLE WORLD THAT NEEDS TO BE SILENT!" He roared as books started rocketing off the shelves in a display of ghostly power.
"I HAVE TO PEE!" Shouted a group of toddlers in unison as they wet themselves.
"YOU ARE PEEING TOO LOUDLY! I JUST WANT TO WATCH MY OPRAH TIME IN PEACE! IS THAT SO HARD TO COMPREHEND!?"
The tiny man in the tweed jacket began ranting incessantly about this and that, while all the while the group slung their most powerful attacks at him, all the while, praying, hoping that he would eventually calm down. Daniel, out of pure inspiration, had the beautiful idea of simply asking the tiny man in the tweed jacket if they could all watch the Oprah episode together, and with any luck, avoid the whole pointless fight altogether. The tiny man, upon some serious deliberation with his broken laptop, decided that this of course of action, was the best course of action for all.
The toddlers stopped wetting themselves for about fourty five minutes, while the irresposible parent who had gone off to the horse track returned, only to find that she now had twenty eight kids, all of whom smelled like fifty day old urine soaked homeless people, and a tiny car in which to carry them all.
She was not happy.
She was also Aneeh Arhem, who for some reason, had gotten tired of simply sitting on a couch literally stapled to The Fat Mans back, and started up a baby sitting company.
It was a disaster and she should have never advertised on Craigslist.
Under the name "Chris Hansens Target".
It only got worse when a mother of twenty eight pulled up in her beat up VW Bug, sang a ditty about how her dead beat, now completely dead, husband had up and left the kids two minutes after he had died, left her with mounting debt resulting from over use of the word "tangelo" on a talk show, and now she had to resort to prostituion of Finger Puppets. Because now that all Hell had broken loose, there was a market for Finger Puppet hookers.
Aneeh, thinking about this, came to the conclusion that this had been a disaster from the moment she thought about it and simply opened a portal to the Chasm's side, and booted the urine smelling, tantrum throwing, vomit covered brats into it for the Chasm to deal with. It did in the only fashion it could think of and sent them to a Hell only reserved for the worst of the worst of the worst.
The kids were sent to the murder trial of the Wubsy Wubsies for the intended deaths of the Teletubbies, several charges of racketeering, animal cracker abuse, and four counts of stalking Raggedy Anne and assaulting Raggedy Andy with a pair of dead flounders that had no comment, and needed several years of therapy to get over the trauma.
Meanwhile, in the library, the tiny man in the tweed jacket had left, happy that Oprah had made it a requirement for all her book club members to read "My Tiny Left Pinky: An Inspirational Story of Hope, Determination, and Maddening Obsession to cut off his tiny lefy pinky by the tiny man in a tweed jacket" Blake was not thrilled.
"This is ****!" He cried, "You mean to tell me that all we had to **** do was watching a **** Oprah episode and that damned psychotic midget-" he was interrupted by the Velocitally Challenged Gastropods who held up indecipherable signs stating that could be construed as prejudice against things shorter them himself.
Blake, silently, slowly, reached for a salt shaker while staring at the curious development, unscrewed the lid, and dumped the whole thing on the tiny insect. in writhing agony, the slug burst into a ball of flame that smelled like a tewn year old fart being released into the wild after being nutured through eating tons of prunes, and simply not farting for ten years.
Daniel, in a moment of triumph, sat down on his lightcycle and read the report that Holoahl had just given him.
"The storms passed, and most of the highways destroyed. But..."
Skylar sat silently, wishing for the days of his corduroy lined Robocliner, and the soft, hushed zwipping sound that pleased only him.
Blake sighed as he unsummoned the chainshurikens and summoned his green lightcycle. "Well, we better get going, knowing Morgan, and the rate he usually travels... In his Hyperwolf form, he could already be at his destination."
Skylar tapped the side of his helmet, "Holoahl, what's the most direct route to the Hyperwolfs current location?"
Holoahl, without missing a beat, replied in kind, "Through a frathnicing portal. duh."
"But I thought you said because everything is now grinding together, that using Dream Dimension moves would result in scattering us to the winds?"
Holoahl sighed, "Look... I said that there was a CHANCE of that happening, however, if one of you open the portal while the other three follow that guy through it, then it might work out! Really Skylar, you need to pay more attention!" The hologram then went into sleep mode.
Blake shrugged, "That should work, Daniel, you do it."
The mousy looking man gave a look to him to suggested that he go do something not very pleasant with himself in a place that was even worse.
Bobby sighed loudly and snapped his fingers, the lightcycle shooting out a tiny spark that turned into a simple wooden door. "There you go. Just follow me, then everything should work out for the best. Deal?" The librarian nodded vigorously, as if to hurry up the whole process.
"She agrees!" Skylar exclaimed, pointing in her direction.
Two minutes later, the group rode through the tight fitting doorway, leading them exactly in the middle of the Dimension between Dimensions.
Their first reaction was to immediately vacate themselves of any and all holdings within themselves, in a very, VERY disturbing fashion.
Ten minutes later, their leavings gained setient life, which was sliced out of them by an irate Grim Reaper who was even more annoyed that these leavings decided to gain a soul.
He was happy at the end of the day that he had gotten something out of the whole day.
Blake, Bobby, Skylar, and Daniel stared in awe at the extreme ways the Dimension between Dimensions warped everything they thought they knew about the laws of nature, gravity, light, physics, reality, existence, and basically any possible subject they could think of, and treated it like a football being tied to a lit stick of dynamite and kicked off a cliff.
"Whaizzat!? Whyizzahappeninovathere!? Whothefugizzat!?" Daniel roared insanely as his eyes began to bleed like Old Faithful reject the single cork used to plug it.
"Keep cool guys... Keep cool." A familiar voice began to say to them, "It'll all be over soon." The voice got closer, but it was warped intensely somehow. "Hey Blake hows it-"
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" He roared insanely as he summoned his chainshurikens that floated like two montrous hands.
The Hyperwolf smiled as the visor lowered over his face, the infinity symbol on his forhead protector glowing wildly. "That's more like it. This is what my Master, the Chasm of Nonexistence truly wants!"
Daniel was the next to freak out, as his new ability showed itself. "No more. BLOODLINE LIMIT ACTIVATION!" He screamed as his bones bulged outwards like a porcupine, shredded through his skin and wrapped themselves around his limbs like giant drills.
"OOH! Pretty!" Skylar shouted.
"Why!? Why do you want to fight us!?" Blake roared in confusion as his weapons now glowed a furious green.
"I don't have to.... I NEED TO FIGHT YOU! ALL PART OF THE PLAN!"
"But... I mean really!? Why'd you have us go through that training then!? Why'd you bring us all the way out here, in the middle of the most bizzare place!?"
"It's my home turf, it's the place where I now serve out my sentence for breaking the barriers that kept everywhere else safe, NOW SHUT THE **** UP AND FIGHT ME!" The Hyperwolf demanded, now tired of the melodrama.
"NINJA ARTS: BLACK SWAN REQUIEM: PUNISHMENT FROM THE CHASM!"
Sasha had been following Goldiamond through a strange and frightening Reality where the whole of New York was swallowed whole by a ten mile high, four thousand mile wide cube of water. Goldiamond paid this no mind. After all, with the Highlander Event still in effect, there was no telling who he'd be fighting next. Sasha simply sidled up beside him, silent as ever, only occasionally scribbling down a few notes here and there about the haunting effect this new Reality had on her and the person she had been following. There was an air bubble around them both, while it kept the water in, it had let no air out. which meant to sasha that there was a very real possibility of her suffocating. Goldiamond held out a hand, signalling her to stop.
"Another one of the original Strands?" She asked, the words being, almost, the very first she had spoken since she began traveling with Goldiamond.
"Maybe. Wait here, we'll know soon enough." He replied, still as coldly as before, but glad for the break in silence that had grown between the two of them. "While we're having this nice conversation, why haven't you been your chatty self? I'm not mad at you. I was pissed at the fact that you thought you OWNED me like some sort of object. I mean, the silence is great and all, but these fights really kill my motivation."
Sasha was caught off gaurd. "You mean, I could've talked to you... At any point at all?"
"Naturally. I mean, COME ON! I'm only going to kill you if you physically or through some special means try to control me." Goldiamond smiled, the diamond muscles flexing awkwardly as he did so.
He then turned his attention to the tornado of air bubbles coming their way.
"Hide. NOW!" He commanded as the tornado hit him full force, and even though he was glad for the sensation, he could've done without the pain. "****, **** ,****, ****, ****!" He moaned as the pocket of air around himself burst and the icy water slammed in around him. 'Thank god I don't have organs yet or I'd be in trouble.' Goldiamond thought to himself.
"We've been waiting for you Goldiamond. We've ALL been waiting for you. The Atomic Strands would be here... But she has... Been dead for quite some time now!" The voice cackled between words.
"So what name do you go by?" Goldiamond replied impatiently.
"Well, I was simply a huge square of water, I don't remember my birth into this Reality or life. Nor am I fully aware of what I truly am. You can relate at one point or another. I am compelled to kill you Goldiamond, That is the what this... Highlander Event is, right?"
Goldiamond could understand.
He tried not to feel any guilt for what he was about to do to this new life form, but he couldn't.
It was impossible.
"Before we fight... How long ago were you created? What experiences have you had? How did you defeat the Atomic Strands?" He asked calmly, knowing the battle ahead would give him great pause afterwards, if he survived.
"The Atomic Strands simply drowned. That is all I know, then his form melted into mine, and I became aware. I held life in every molecular component in my body. It was a burst of radiance, happiness, and joy! But I am sad." The water replied, its voice like a broken pipe organ being played.
Goldiamond sighed. "How long ago was this?" He asked patiently, but inside, his heart was aching. In the short time the Six Strands had been together, they were like a close knit family to each other, but with the full knowledge of their true purpose finally revealed, they were forced to say their goodbyes, as former friends now became bitter and hate filled rivals against one another.
The water simply gurgled. "I was born early this morning. I know nothing of this world or the universe itself, but in my very mind, I am older than this unfortunate city itself. I remember large scaley creatures which thundered about. I remember the frozen time when Humans first became. I remember droughts and floods, the bitter and resentful taste of blood that flowed from wars between the Humans. I am saddened that while I know of these experiences, I am only now aware, and thus forced to fight and kill you if I can. For this reason alone, I am sad. If possible, if you kill me first, save just a little bit of me, so that I may continue on experiencing this wonderful and horrifying life I am now given?" The water asked, slightly trembling, as if fearful of its new fate.
Sasha, out of pity for the newborn life, brought out a small, empty, container, and let it fill up with the sentient water till it was full.
"There you go." She whispered into the bottle softly, "You will live on, if only for the time when you must rejoin the emptiness from which you have been born." In her mind, the water thanked her for her kindness.
"Goldiamond, your companion has given me a kindness I shall soon not forget. As for you, for now, my namesake is the Aquatic Strands. May I first condense into a smaller form, for a equally matched fight?"
Goldiamond allowed this, and was amazed at the ease in which the Aquatic Strands formed its body entirely out of a thick layer of heavier, hard water, supported by pockets of air bubbles.