The story so far:
Mikey, without any real knowledge of what his purpose in life was, simply swollowed whatever amount of cereal he was currently munching on, and said simply, "You know, Morgan's kid is going to kill him, it's what the Core wants. But he's faced with the fact that if the Fragments of Reality get put together, and the Seven Strands, and the Five Syrups, come in contact with his kid, ****'s going to hit the fan. MORE MUNCHING OF THY HIDDEN STASH OF LIFE CEREAL! So what do you plan to do? The way to the Lost Wolf's locale is right in front of you, and all you need to do is-" Mikey was suddenly changed into the little football shaped lady from the Exorcist, "Step into the liiiight!" After all that, he, she, it had died of choking to death on a kids cereal.
"Damn..." Skylar said, throttling his robocliner into full zwipping action, punting whatever it had been into a nearby pillar of gas fueled fire.
The Fat Man looked at Morgan with a sudden sense of loss for words. Here was this guy, who with the help of his friends, despite all the Chasm's efforts, had kicked the living crap out of everything sent his way, and through out all of it had a sense of not even knowing what was going to end all of this madness. The Fat Man's face darkened a little bit, knowing that. He didn't know what it might feel like to know that the one thing that could truly kill you, was something you helped bring into the world.
"Damn." He muttered under his breath, as somewhat aprehensive as he could, not wanting to betray the fact that while Morgan, aka the Lost Wolf, was his ultimate enemy, the Chasm had grown somewhat fond of him.
So The Fat Man did the only thing he could really do.
He attacked Morgan.
From really far away.
With a peanut.
Named Ted Nugent.
The little object, slammed through the waterfall of fighters from both sides that were scrambling to escape their eternal torment, and nicked Morgans cheek. This of course, had the effect of snapping the Humans attention back to the Realty that was unbecoming. That despite everything he did, all the fights that he'd won and had lost, Reality was slowly unwinding.
"**** this ****, that **** Fat Man's gonna pay! HOW DARE HE TROW THAT PEANUT AT ME WITH AMAZING AND GRACEFUL ACCURACY!" He shouted as he slammed through the Lost Wolf transformation, the rage he felt growing from the insignificant wound reaching new hights. Suddenly the voices from the Dream Dimension warped through his mind.
'You have trancended the limits of being lost. Now facing utter anihilation, and annoyingly enough, a bruise from a well aimed peanut named Ted Nugent, we give you elemental powers of a voracious wolf pack! You are now the Hyperwolf!' The voices ruptured outwards, a rainbow of colors slashing through the air as a ninja headband with the metal protector plate displaying the inifinity symbol forming.
The Hyperwolf's fur changed from red with crystalline sprouts to a hideously bright blue with skeletal wings brusting forth. Tattoos of clockwork like intricacy grew outwards, giving the Hyperwolf the appearance of every artists worst nightmares come to life.
"DAMN YOU TED NUGENT!" He roared as the hand signs flashed in front of him with defiant speed. "NINJA ART: TWIRLING MASS OF RAZOR FINNED SHADOWS!" Instantly, the last of the fighters turned around, only for their sight to be slashed in twain as shadows streaked throughout their numbers.
"I... I coulda been a contender!" One of them shouted breathlessly as he was knocked down for the count.
"Now go forth and show your unborn child of death who's the boss!" Another warrior shouted.
It was Tony Danza, and for the first time in his horrid existence, he let someone else be the Boss.
Morgan streaked through the cloud of enemies, The Fat Man feeling the presence long before the massive hole in the sky fractured even more.
"Damn, boys got skills!" He muttered.
Aneeh, Joseph, and Joshua Arhem, who had quit their flapjack making jobs, had been silently watching events unfold right behind The Fat Man the whole time, smiled.
"Yep." Aneeh coughed.
"You've been there the whole time? When'd you get fired?" The Chasm asked contemplatively.
"Three days ago. We put a couch harness on your back. You didn't notice?" Joshua arhem laughed maniacly.
"You mean to tell me the Jenny Craig diet never worked to begin with?" He repied sadly, smashing the can of Slim Fast in his hands out of anger.
"It has been working great for you! Aneeh's just been gaining weight." Joseph coughed wildly.
"That explains a lot... Oh, ****. Here he co-" The avatar of the Chasm that was The Fat Man whimpered as the Hyperwolf slammed him with ten tons of steel hard punches, ten kicks, a headbutt, and because a hint of irony was needed somewhere, Ted Nugent the peanut slapped him across the face.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Aneeh screamed in frustration, while taking said frustrations out on her undead, immortal Brother by taking out ten boxes of grenades and slamming them down his throat, then throwing him off a cliff with wondering how could Mr. Peanut be so damned evil. When she sat back down, the peanut answered her question.
"What did we miss!?" Joseph shouted, waving his hands in the air like a frenzied pinwheel trying his damndest to stop a tornado.
"HIDDEN INFINITE JUTSU: MODERN DANCE CLASS FAILING GRADE!" The Hyperwolf roared as a solid black body morph suit grew over him.
"BLACK SWAN REQUIEM!" He shouted as he launched into a hybrid of voliting seizuring, robotic dancing, ballet, tap, and something known only as Death Rattling, which could neither be decribed, nor performed without near death experiences and a taste of plaid jackets.
The moves hypnotized, raptured, morbidly injured, and snapped almost every gluon in The Fat Man's body into eighths, unleashing ten trillion tons of atomic Bill Gates like energy. The shockwave itself resembled a tsunami of little old ladies in motorized shopping carts, bobbing their beehived hairdos to the tunes of Lowrider, while turning everything they touched into caramelized statues.
"Black Swan Requiem, Grade: YOU HAVE UTTERLY FAILED THE CLASS! No soup... FOR YOU!" The Hyperwolf howled in rage as he reared back, energy gathering in his fist to the point of glowing, as ripped the stars out of space with the power of his punchs. The Fat Man caught the punch, returned the energy, then recieved it in double time, and was launched, along with the exploded cars, trucks, and sentimentally large chuncks of the highways and others things.
Then it got worse, it imploded with the same amount of force, ripping the energy back into a quantum singularity that simply dissapated. The little old ladies poofed out of existence leaving behind cherry scented smoke. The caramelized remains simply becoming like caramel like dust in the wind.
somewhere, somehow, people on exorcise bikes lost all interest in keeping up with their diet.
At the very edge of the blast radius, Skylar's robocliner zwipped its last, fell apart, and had spastically, violently, and happily, disgorged all of the popcorn, soda, and redbull that had been crammed into it.
"Um... Yeah. Blake, Bobby? I think we've found out where Morgan ran off to. More importantly, WHY THE **** DOES IT NOW SMELL LIKE CARAMELIZED CHERRYS!?" He shouted angrily. Blake, not knowing why what happened happened, simply became tired and fell asleep. Sasha, upon seeing the power of the Hyperwolf, sat down slowly, and in her surprise, wrote a four hundred page thesis on the use of a penny.
It won her a Noble Peace Prize, and since things like that were now accepted as fact by the scientific community at large, she threw at it the prize giver, and was awared ten more like it.
For a single second, the four men looked at the Hyperwolf, his level of newfound strength almost paralyizing them with fear.
"Should... Should he be staring us down like that?" Nordafet asked quietly as he picked up a few kernels of leftover popcorn.
Antimo simple shook his head. "I don't think he's yet aware of what exactly he's just done old friend. But I think if we were to approach him now, while he was in this state, it wouldn't end very well."
Blake had to agree with him there. "Besides, we've got our goals, he's got his. Hopefully, somewhere along the line, we can put everything back in its place. still wanna kick his **** though... Bastard!" He growled underneath his breath.
Bobby simply summoned his lightcycle in hover mode, got on, and revved his engine a few times. "I think... This is just me spit balling here, but wouldn't Morgan want all of us to meet up somewhere safe? He did put us on this little trip for a reason after!"
Skylar was busy mourning the loss of his corderoy covered robocliner. "You know what? You're right. Blake, I'll go and try to talk-"
He was interrupted by the Golden Strands, "Morgan said that he'd contact us when the time was right. He has bigger things to worry about than assuring us of the whole plan. Right now, he's probably going after the Bloody Strands. They have a history that... Well... Needs to be tended to. Come on, I know a guy in the Dimension between Dimensions who'll be more help to us if we can find him!"
The others looked at him with a little bit of anger, and the Golden Strands felt it. Daniel, looking up from the holographic display, had the look of someone that just discovered a horrific secret. "Guys, girls, and things of unknown nature-" He motioned towards Nordafet, Antimo, and the Golden Strands, "- I have a thought, if that's the Golden Strands, and Morgan's former wife is the Bloody Strands who is also carrying his unborn child, won't there be more like those two out there somewhere?" He was answered by a long range punch to the jaw.
A truck engine like voice ripped from underneath a nearby pile of rubble as the form to back it up rose into the air. "That answer yer question ya fuggin hippy!?"
The Golden Strands formed sword hilts all throughout his body as he became intensely focused.
"Who... Or WHAT the flying ****... Are YOU!?" Blake asked pointedly as his green energies focused into two giant chainsaw like shurikens attached to chains that wrapped around his arms.
"Guys... Allow me to introduce you to the Diamond Strands. He might look strong... **** it, he's made out of five hundred tons of diamond dust... YES GODDAMNIT HE IS **** TOUGH!" The Golden Strands explained through gritted teeth.
The Diamond Strands laughed heartily at the Golden Strands posture. "You still as unfocused as ever! Yer nothin but a pile of bendable firewire painted orange ya damned hippy! Now I don't know what yer plannin in those soft fleshy heads of yers, but I'm aiming to stop you in yer tracks ya hippies!" His arms condensed into massive ten headed snakes, his face beamed proudly.
The Golden Strands began to explain things to the group. "Back in the Core, I mean, THE CENTER of the very Core, back when things were straight forward an simple like, before Morgan screwed things over with that damned battle within the Beast, six of us were created..." The golden strands started reaching towards the out cropping hilts of the various blades, while they became unique, "Gold, Diamond, Platinum, Titanium, Stellar, and Atomic Strands, we were told that we had to go our seperate ways two years after our initial creation. That should we EVER cross each others paths, we would be automatically be compelled to fight eachother. The victor would then absorb the loser, and from then on, the remaining Strands would be drawn towards the original victor, till there was only one left."
Daniel stood back up, readied himself, but Bobby stopped him.
"In other words, its a Highlander thing." Bobby mentioned, his mind relaxing just a bit as he watched the Hyperwolf vanished in a flash of lightning. "Nordafet, Antimo, you might not agree with me here, but go with Morgan, he might not want your help, but give it to him anyways."
"Understood, Nordafet, come along. We can meet up with the Puppet King on the way, if we're lucky enough. Golden Strands, beat the HELL out of this glampire like idiot."
"He'll try, ya damned hippy!" The Diamond Strands retorted as the snakes hissed and snapped wildly. "Easy girls, let them go, it's the Golden jackass you wanna sink yer teeth into!" He boasted wildly.
Antimo and the Deom passed by without incident, but Nordafet suddenly had the curious notion to ask if he could Facebook friend the Diamond Strands, regardless if he won or lost.
"Ho. ya damned hippy." He replied simply.
"Okay." Nordafet replied back sadly. "Imma go now." Five minutes later, as Blake, Bobby, Daniel, and Skylar summoned the lightcycles in hover mode, and sped off, Sasha simply remained sitting there, a slow smile spreading across her face. The Golden Strands formed six ten foot long tendrils, each with three fingered hands on them.
The Diamond Strands smiled.
The snakes silently hissing, being controlled like puppets in the Diamond Strands body.
"Know what the difference is between you and me?" A nearby Mitt Romney mentioned, but both Strands slammed him into the ground, shouting in unison, "NO! AND WE DON'T WANT TO!"
They locked eyes and their destined battle began.
In the far reaches of even further Existences and Realities, the four Strands sensed it was time to find the victor of the battle, made their ways towards the source of their mutual magnetic attraction.
"S?m?pa haj?ra dantadh?r? blenders!" The Diamond Strands roared.
"Sutorando?to: Konpy?tarabo no gijutsu-sha no furasutor?shon!" The Golden Strands roared back.
The snakes cloud like form slamming into the Golden Strands lab technicians angered eyebrows.
"DAMN IT! THE LANS NOT CONNECTING WITH THE SERVERS IPO ROUTING IP ADDRESS! HOW COME THE CPU'S IP NUMBERS DONT MEET WITH THE ROUTERS REDIALING NEEDS! I HATE YOU ALL! DIE!" The techie screamed as she rummed in her pockets and pulled out a pen knife, dashing through the twenty, open mouthed snakes and stabbing them in the eyes with lightning quick accuracy. "You will all fail in the high tech industry!"
The Diamond Strands snakes shrank back to regular hands. "YOU DAMNED HIPPY! LOOK WHAT YOU DONE TO MY PETS! NO MATTER! Sau kay?mata skvara?i?ga rabara batakha!" He roared as patches of his dust like form rocketed into the sky, formed three tons of rubber ducks that slammed into the Golden Strands with slight terrifying force. "How ya like them apples, ya damned-"
"SHUT THE **** UP WITH THE DAMNED HIPPY COMMENTS YOU JACK DALLAS COWBOYS REJECT! GOD! IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO SOMEONE FROM A HARDCORE MILITARY BACKGROUND RANT AND RAVE ABOUT SOME FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM THEY DON'T AGREE WITH! DO YOU HAVE ANY **** CLUE HOW DAMNED ANNOYING THAT IS TO ME!? C?h?nn?m olan obyekt küt!" The Golden Strands roared as his fingers curled around the hilts, which were once dull and simple, now more elegant than a platefull of jewel encrusted top ramen. "QIZIL Strand texnika: Caz truba BAND Slam!"
The Diamond Strands were caught off guard as the blades slammed through his form, burning the dust into a solid form, and causing him great and instense strides of pain.
"YA CAN'T DO THIS TO M-" He raged as the full force of the Golden Strands was unleashed.
"While you were simply devouring moons, I consumed entire Universes! Entire planets that were filled to the brim with living beings, each with their own histories, tales, loves and losses! Animals who were simply living out their lives! Mothers in waiting, boys descovering the strength within! I hear their cries all the time! DAMNING ME FOREVER WITH THE HATRED THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY! YOU ARE A FOOL! I WILL WIN AND YOU WILL LOSE! Forbidden Strand Texniki: KÜTL?V? geni?lik ÖLÜM burma!" He roared as his fullest size came to bear. his back ripped outwards like a reverse bear trap as centillions of clones of the Golden Strands roared forth, each with weapons in hand of unimaginable power, each filled with the anger, hate, sadness, and mourning of the victims of his of those early days.
The Diamond Strands regained his composure at the last second. "Yer a damned fool. Diamond is heartier than gold will EVER be. Lemme show ya... You damned ignorant hippy. Diamond snáithe teicníc: Básanna léirithe marbh." in that instant, the diamond strands cloud like form condensed to its original size. "I'll kill every last one of ya, till the Reaper can't take no more, and cries the blood of Time itself." He smiled as the rays bouncing of the galatic sized cloud of clones was aborbed into the diamond hard form till a point of light exploded outwards.
The single point slashing through the clones like a powerful laser cutting through a wet piece of toilet paper. "Heh... This isn't ever as fun as I think its going be. LEVEL FIVE STRENGTH!" He roared as a Reaper's diamond cloak covered him, and a monstrous and demonic looking pair of scythes grew from his jaw. In a flash, he boar a hole through everything till he reached the original Golden Strands, who was still spewing out the clones by the billions.
"OH NO THE CRAP YOU DON'T!" He screeched as golden spikes rammed themselves through the Diamond Strands chest, barely missing his heart by centimeters.
"Heh... Looks like we got ourselves a good ol fashioned Stranding Stand off. Who'll lose? Will I simply cut yer head in three? Or will you slash through my heart?"
On the side lines, Sasha threw her Nobel Peace prizes at a disappointed group of scientists who had, for some reason, lost track of their fat man running away from their cheese wheel of death. The medals tapped of them on the head.
For a moment, they didn't know how to react, until one of the scientists, who heavily believed in Chaos Theory, suggested that this result was intended, and they should all go celebrate with more jello shots from TGI Fridays.
This was met with questionable applause, until another stated he needed to get back to filing divorce papers.
They decided on going to Pizza Hut instead.
The Golden Strands simply smiled, he hadn't seen the Diamond Strands in well over ten thousand years, and for the most part, had no interest in fighting any of the other Strands. He wondered why it was the Core made it a mental impulse to immediately fight each other.
Was there some grander reason why?
Did it have something to do with Morgan's unborn child?
It seemed unlikely in any event that such a connection could possibly exist, but the barriers that had set each of the Strands free had long ago crumbled down.
"Well? Whater ya gonna do, ya damned hippy? You kill me? Or will I gotta kill ya first!?" The Diamond Strands almost whimpered.
"Do you really want to fight me Diamond? I mean, let's be honest here!" The Golden Strands asked whole heartedly, trying to reach at least some conclusion as to this confusion.
"Now you know the answer to that as well as I do, Goldy. I... I don't like that bloodshed. It aint in my nature! All of us... All of us were placed in similiar Existences! All of us had almost the same group of people around! Yet yours is the only one that managed to survive! Our leader, the Raging Two Headed Cobra, was killed during the amusement park part... All Hell broke loose!" The Diamond Strands was almost crying as the cloak half covered his face. "It aint fair! I got no reason to live any more! Our Deom, Kaquepo, was simply torn in half by a thin guy with caterpillars fer arms! Killed by giant bugs! That aint no decent way for a man to go, no matter his compisition!"
The Golden Strands, despite his ravaging impulse to simply finish off the Diamond Strands, even as he begged for death, hesitated.
That hesitation cost him as the Diamond Strands tears simply faded away into a low, growling laughter.
"Heh, yer still the damned fool I knew you was Goldy! DIE!"