Discussion of "Pushing Danger" by xdrowninghavocx

I'm pretty interested in seeing where this goes, if only because there is just enough here to wet the appetite. Good detail. Your main character seems pretty OCD, but that's interesting.

Pretty solid effort. Only a few technical errors but I can't seem to get away from those myself.

Gave it a 4.

Thanks so much. I was trying my hardest to make him seem out of it. And yes, detail is very important to me.

I find myself reading and seeing many different ways this could go, and I am very entertained with that diverse door. I like your descriptiveness and attention to detail in the scene; I pictured a dark restaurant lit with candles, but then the woman with the child threw me off. "Wait, is this a Denny's?" The errors are minor and not really worth negating a star. Very good work overall! 4 STARS!

The location is suppose to be a diner, not a restaurant. In a diner, you see more of a variety of characters, especially at night. So, the woman with the kid was my version of a single mom who who works late and treated her with a late night meal. I guess I should have added that in there. It sounded good in my head. Maybe I should have added more grungy details as well. But, thanks. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Excuse the typos above. I am trying not to be anal about that. I did leave out a lot of the story because I wasn't sure if it was too much detail. I had originally thought of having background information on everyone in the diner. Sort of letting the reader know the events that lead each character into the same location as Max.

Good reading. I gave you a 4....Try reading my work sometime. "Gunther", "Johnny Lame-O", etc. I think you will like them.

xdrowninghavocx, Where you been? I'm looking for the next chapter....