please comment and tell me what you think with each chapter

Hello everyone just letting people know I'm back on storymash, and I've put some new work up. Difficult to do when you have a broken arm. Anyway hope you guys and gals are having a good day, and keep on writing.

Critic me how you want , I know I don't have the best Grammar in the world . Enjoy the story :)

Your welcome , you are a really good author :)

I really enjoy this short story. It has good detail, its not overly descriptive, and it has a great internal conflict with in the main character. I loved the ending because to me the only important thing in the story is how it ends.

I noticed a few grammar errors in the story. Nothing major though . I like how the story is set in a modern day. It also has a practical character that is a taxi driver. That was a cool thing to have in a story because people try to make the protagonist impractical in small ways so it was nice to see a change of pace. I have to say though I feel like there could of been a lot more emotion about the loss of the girl. Maybe a little bit more inner turmoil how he regrets hitting the truck etc.. Over all I rate it a 3.5 for an average story .

I liked the second part of the story for the most part but it seemed a little short compared to the first part of the story. What I did like is like my previous comment said to add description to your characters and you already had so to me as a reader I thought that was a very good thing. Also I like how the ending was was with how Silver died but I think you should of added more descripton on where the main character was at and maybe how he felt about shooting the gun and the pressure of possibly hitting ms lunewell .

I liked the second part of the story for the most part but it seemed a little short compared to the first part of the story. What I did like is like my previous comment said to add description to your characters and you already had so to me as a reader I thought that was a very good thing. Also I like how the ending was was with how Silver died but I think you should of added more descripton on where the main character was at and maybe how he felt about shooting the gun and the pressure of possibly hitting ms lunewell .

I liked the second part of the story for the most part but it seemed a little short compared to the first part of the story. What I did like is like my previous comment said to add description to your characters and you already had so to me as a reader I thought that was a very good thing. Also I like how the ending was was with how Silver died but I think you should of added more descripton on where the main character was at and maybe how he felt about shooting the gun and the pressure of possibly hitting ms lunewell .

I highly enjoyed your stroy it is one of the better ones that I can get into and I can not wait to read the second part , there was grammatical errors and that of course but hey everyone has them especially me. Your sentence structure I like compared to my own because it's not really flowery and littered with details . Its choppy yet discriptive a very good author characteristc to have I think Hemminway wrote like that. Or maybe it was Faulkner . Anyways great writing , if your stories draw me in like this with each one you can bet you will have a avid reader and a fan to comment at least once on each story. Also your charcters are great you give them a good personailty it fits well with your style of writing but a small suggestion give some way of telling what they look like so the reader can invision them even better while they take place in your incredible stories.

Have a great day :)