Meanwhile, back in the basement...

"Get up, Johnny, I made you breakfast!"  John's mom yelled from the top of the stairs.  "Hurry up!  I want you to find a job 'cause I'm tired of you laying around and eating my food!  Do you hear me?"

John heard but all he could do to respond was moan.  He didn't remember going out to drink, but he sure had a hangover - blackout too, obviously, because all he could recall were bright lights and music.  Bad music.  Karaoke probably. He tried to slide his legs off of the bed, but the pain in his groin made him stop cold.

"What the hell?" he managed, and then thought - Did I get in a fight and get knocked in the nuggies?  He pulled down his boxers and cupped his balls.  Everything looked normal.  No bruises or bulging blue veins.  He had to keep them cupped just to move out from the covers and off the bed. He stood there gently massaging himself. 

"What the hell are you doing!?!"  his mom, jaw dropped, was gawking in the doorway.  She glanced down at the J.C. Penny's catalog, open to the panties section, and moaned.  "You're disgusting!"

"I'm hurt, ma!" John squealed pitifully. "Jesus!"

She turned and walked back up the stairs.

"Don't use the Lord's name like that, John Phillip!  You need to go to confession, or maybe go talk to Father Donahue.  Honestly, I don't know what to do with you.  Maybe God can help you, 'cause I can't. I wish you would meet him face to face or have a burning bush experience. But I'm tired of you...."

Her voice faded as John limped to the bathroom and slammed the door.  "What happened?" ran through his head over and over.  Mom could go to hell before he'd go talk to the priest.  Meeting God face to face wasn't on his agenda either.  He chuckled to himself and moaned with pain as he thought of the burning bush?  Yeah, that's what happened.  I had a burning bush experience last night and now I need a double shot of penicillin.

The afternoon sun cast long shadows as John gingerly made his way to the bowling alley where he hoped to meet the manager and get the porter's job he was told by his mom was available.  He felt better, but there was still some discomfort.  He didn't hear the footsteps coming up fast behind him.

"You are the one!"  John turned and saw an odd looking fellow with big ears, big eyes, and big nose all looking bigger because of the man's small head.  The man giggled and drooled like a two-year-old at a birthday party.

"Can I help you?"

"You.  You're the one.  You are THE ONE!"  The man bowed and then walking backwards continuing to bow back down the sidewalk the way he had come."

"You're the One!" he shouted and then vanished in thin air.