The public defender looked like a cross between Charlton Heston and Ghandi.  He was the biggest Indian I'd ever seen and the turban made him look even taller. 

"I am sorry for my tardiness," he begged in a beautiful British accent.  "Traffic is hideous at this hour."

It had been two hours since they took me to the station and I sat in the room.  You know the room I'm talking about.  The one with the long table, a couple of chairs and a mirror the size of Iowa on one of the walls.  I felt like a thousand eyes were watching me, not to mention  cameras covering every angle of the room.  I thought about performing a hand puppet skit for their benefit, but decided against it figuring I would need them to realize I'm serious about getting to the truth of the matter.  Obviously they have the wrong guy and will grasp that quicker if I behave myself.

"So, why don't you tell me what happened," said Big Ghandi so nonchalantly that I laughed out loud.  He had his pencil at the ready of a large legal pad.

"Well, it was a dark and stormy night..." I couldn't help it.  He looked so serious and truly wanted to do his public duty, but what if I had done something wrong - I sure as hell wasn't going to spill the beans in front of the mirror. The big man didn't laugh.  He set down the pencil and paper and gazed at me sternly like a high school guidance counselor about to tell a student that "D's" weren't going to get him into Notre Dame.  I cut him off at the Khyber Pass.

"I know, I know (and I wanted to say Gunga), I'm just a bit frayed by all this.  By the way, what is your name?"

"My name is Ranjit, Ranjit Singh."

"Nice to meet you."

"My pleasure, sir.  Now will you kindly get your head out of your backside and tell me what you know of this matter, before they come in and stuff it up there further."

I like this guy already and he's right - "they" are coming in here and up till now I've been wanting someone, them, anythem, to come in here and straighten this out. Starsky, Hutch, Sgt. Friday, Ice T, Mariska Hartiheyheyhey, come one come all - talk to me cause I don't know nothin.  I look at Ranjit and shrug.

"I have no idea why I'm here."