Excellent! I liked everything about your chapter except that it shouldn't have gotten that far :-)

For me, at least, sometimes I get a destination in view and have to get there no matter what. Don't get me wrong, you did a fantastic job of building to the end. Wonderfully written - like Shadinahnahnah said, "Chills!" went down my spine too.

One thing I would have done as the character is to ask the parents "Why? What kinds of things has he been saying?" Or, "Really? How has he been scaring people?" The "concerned" teacher would ask instead of saying "No, we just had hot chocolate. Goodnight."

That scene could have played out an entire chapter. It could have been slowed down to a coffee-sipping, sweat-dripping, eye-darting, throat-clearing, awkwardly intense moment, where she doesn't know what to think - and the crowd could have even made it to her house. She could have excused herself and made the call - and then disappeared or whatever.

Cancel last (1 week 3 days ago) Can't continue. Projects to do. On leave/gone fish'n/later baby. Bye all and all the best.

Sorry folks - can't finish or start or whatever...have some other projects cooking. All the best to you!!!

Yeah, it was a "nooner."

never mind - saw the answer in the rules

Excellent lead Shadinahnahnah! It makes me want a lot more - I really want to know what her job is, why she needs to escape and why the kid thinks she's a goner. Creepy yet sweet in a creepy sweet kinda way :-) 4.75 but a 4.5 on here.

Question - if we want to mash someone else's first chapter and have it count for the contest then should we wait till the second round begins?

Piffle! This is too good. Rainy days and mondays; Silverstein and Hitchcock; Piffle and dammit; martini's and dorito's; two glasses; two people; too many ways this could go. Piffleful! Masterful! 2.5 + 2.5

lol

thanks, Ben!