Yesterday's disaster taught me a valuable lesson.  Two valuable lessons, actually.  One - make sure you have the right color underwear before deciding on the rest of your clothes and, two - white goes with anything.

I've got a **** load...oops, that's probably not a good phrase when talking about underwear...a ton of white underwear.  I guess I was simply so exasperated with my dilemna and my wife's unwillingness to wake up and help me that I completely forgot about the tighty whities.

They're not all "tighty whities", of course.  I've got all kinds of underwear.  I've got boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs, really small - almost thong underwear; all of them in a variety of colors and design patterns.  Yes, I even own a few pair of actual thongs.  A red one, a black one and a white one (for when I'm particularly well tanned).

I only wear the thong underwear on special occasions.  Kind of stupid, really - because those special occasions invariably create a situation in which the thong is totally overcome by events.  Still, for the brief moments that they are performing their manufactured purpose, they look really cool.