Discussion of "Frozen Heart" by writerwannabe

Most definitely skin crawling creepy. Very well written, Wwb. *Shivers involuntarily*

Thanks, JD. Creating "shivers" involuntary or otherwise...is great fun...;o)

5. I gave you a 5.
He licked her heart, what the hell?! The whole thing was sickening, but that one line almost made me gag!
You are the most brillant, genius, amazing, f-ing outstanding writer in the whole damn world! I can lose myself quiet often in books, but I've never done it here on SM. My husband scared the pee right out of me when he leaned over and asked me what I was reading! I literally think I pee'd my pants alittle when he did that. I'm not afraid to admit it, you are the awesome! I was scared to death and actually felt my fringer hurt when your character started popping them off the girl. Ugh!

You just amaze me in your ability to drown the reader in a world you've created. Oh, I need to go smoke a cigerette now and take a sleeping pill, I'll need chemical help to fall asleep now, thanks alot!
;oP

WOW, dkk...how does one respond to a comment like that? I'm flabbergasted...lol. Thank you, very much..don't know what else to say..I'm the shy, introverted type, you see?

It has come to my attention, via a little birdy; that when one tweets on twitter, the message is not a "twit" but a "tweet"...I think. That's what the birdy told me. I wish he's have told me sooner!

I'm hoping the birdy is wrong, though...just for spite..so, if any of you use twitter, please set me straight...;o)

I don't use twitter or myspace or facebook or any of that crap, but I do believe that your birdy is right. I was going to say something on that, but as I continued to read, I forgot all about something so small and unimportant.

It's a tweet, you twit.

;)

Skin-crawling creepiness. You sure made a vile, detestable villain here - as nasty as they come. The idea that the frozen state comes somehow through his touch was brilliant!

LMAO...thanks, Agg. I'm certainly a twit, sometimes..;o). Thanks, too, for the reference to brilliance. I LOVE that word!!

Your birdy is right, WWB, but that doesn't take away from this disturbing continuation. Evocative and cringe-worthy. Gosh, I've missed you!!! :-)

Same here...where ya been? Thanks, DJ.."cringe-worthy" is way cool...;o)

Work (and life in general) has been a bit crazy, but I'm hoping to catch up with what's going on here. I may even post something...

Breath...in, out... slow the heart rate. Sheesh, Q blew up a girl with my name once in a story, but this was WAY more disturbing. You're awesome awesomeness is overwhelming. Holy crap, I really can't unfreak myself out right now. Intense, man, really effing fantastic. I need to go hug a puppy now...

Wow...thanks, Honey! I really hope you're continue your side of this. We could play off each other and produce a pretty good complete story...;o)

Ugggh. That was twisted! I barely made it through.

Not really my kind of story in general, just wanted to drop by and say that your writing is in top form with this.

I loved the first line. It made me think I was in for a comedy. Oh, how wrong I was. =P

Thanks, a lot, Jinx! I've never written a comedy..hmmm, maybe I should oughta give it a try, huh? lol

Holy **** Wwb! Twisted isn't the word. I am somewhat speechless for a comment, but consider that a compliment. Enthralled, enraged, I couldn't stop reading. This seems almost too real. lol. That said, top shelf writing, description, aura of thought, scene. It's stuff like this that a lot of people find repulsive that makes me smile, all from the sick mind of a great writer. Awesome!

Wow, Baz...thanks a lot! "aura of thought" is an interesting phrase. I like it! ;o)

Oh def a 5

Muchas gracias, Señor!

5 from me too Writerwannabe.

Outstanding effect.
Shivers? Yes.
Looking over the shoulder? Yes.
Take sleeping pills like my sis Dkk? More than likley. (I didn't pee my pants though Ha!)

Honeygloom, can I hug your puppy too?
WWB, their are no limits on your writting ability. Babe, you've are rising like a star! I was horrified reading it, but in the end, I smiled. You accomplished something all of us 'wannbe' writers try and rarely do. You make the reader FEEL your story. Simply amazing... *eyes glazing over from over exposure to raw awesomeness*

Thanks, so much, LL! I had no idea that you and dkk were sisters! You must be the younger with a stronger bladder...lol.

Your praise, like your sister's, is almost overwhelming. Only almost...lol...I truly love getting such and thank you again! ;o)

Ugh, I told her not to mention we as sisters. People might think we live in the same mansion or something! AND she is only younger by 2 minutes! (we live clear across the state from one another, she's a Port Aransas beach babe! LOL)

LOL..Port Aransas? Man, I've done some heavy partying in PA, back when I lived in Corpus Christi...;o). Twins! Cool!

Though I think you have enough compliments, I suppose you deserve one more, your story was very good and took a direction I can't say I expected after Honeyglooms start, but it great to see where you went with it! I am engulfed in this new plot and hope to see it continued furthur.

Thank you, DG! Actually, glad you commented, too, because it reminded me that you have a couple of chapters up that I haven't read, yet! ;o) I'll get to 'em shortly!

Dude…let me catch my breath. That was totally hardcore. Subject matter that I myself would normally jump to write about…and you made me look away. I actually had to stop…and look away for a moment. Am I getting old? Damn.
This of course is totally complimentary. I loved it because it made me sick. And I see a theme here in your comments, (as if I didn’t already know this), wwb, you’re very well respected and a damn good writer my friend.
Hey, maybe next time you could write about some baby bunnies being sodomized by Nazi skinheads on meth or something? Ya know…tone it down a bit.

LMAO...thanks, dog. You, too, are very well respected and a better writer! Makes your comments all the more satisfying and encouraging...;o).

Good Lord! That freaked the **** outta me. The first chapter was creepy enough, but then you creeped it to the ninth power of creep. Seriously though, it was excellently written. Not that I expect anything else from you, though.

Ahhh, success! Thanks, ORL!!

Haven't seen you around for quite awhile...;o). But, I see you've posted something new and I also noted there's a couple from over a month ago that I haven't read....I'll do that soon! ;o).

And I thought I was a sick ****....5

Who do you think I idolize when it comes to horror and sick? LOL....thanks much, TBH!!

You're welcome buddy...great chapter, and thanks for the kind words.

Jeeze writer! Creepy little ****, ain't he? So cool that he can freeze her tissue and organs with a mere touch! That's pretty awesome! I like this chapter, though it did necessitate some tums in the belly, and I think was one of your best yet. I'm only slightly disturbed by the fact that, being that not one inch was un-inked from neck to feet, some poor tattoo artist must have had to hold that nasty 10-incher and ink it too.

Hope he washed his hands.

BTW, totally gave you a 5, my friend.

LMAO....THAT didn't even occur to me!!! Now that you've mentioned it...DAMN! One of my sons is a tattoo artist...I'm gonna have to ask him how they go about inkin' that particular body part!!! ;o) I can already see his reaction....LOL.

Ewwwwwwwww! That's still hilarious! You'll have to get back to me on what he says, too. My cousin and another good friend do tats but I have never had reason to be curious about it until now.
Ha ha. The crazy stuff we all end up talking bout on here. LOL

ummm can I say disturbing i tooo after reading the first ine thought I was getting into a comedy.... I was moxt definetly wron ahh youve burned my innocent eyes.. I GAVE YOU A 5!!! You derserve like a ,illion, while as this is not my particularly favorite drama (Ill be having nightmares for the next month) it was very well written :) and i love your use of words and just the way you put things, you are such a good writer and altho of the consequence i am glad i read it.

ummm can I say disturbing i tooo after reading the first ine thought I was getting into a comedy.... I was moxt definetly wron ahh youve burned my innocent eyes.. I GAVE YOU A 5!!! You derserve like a ,illion, while as this is not my particularly favorite drama (Ill be having nightmares for the next month) it was very well written :) and i love your use of words and just the way you put things, you are such a good writer and altho of the consequence i am glad i read it.

Your a twit! My God man, Warn me next time! I gave you a 5 even though there was quite a bit I couldn't bring myself to finish reading. I'm to young to die of a heart attack so be careful! Maybe put (not for the faint of heart) in the title next time. The finger thing really got to me....yuck, awful, bad, no good, no good. Im gonna bathe in lavendar oil to calm myself down now! Sheesh!

Frozen Heart is a strong piece of writing from a strong writer. Everything is correct structurally, grammatically, and the writer's voice is very clear and easy to listen to. I like the way you linked the end with the beginning; sometimes that trick can take stories that are good into the status of great.

Unfortunately I have already familiarized (read and written) myself with literary violence and torture pornography. Where this would have once left an impression on me, I have already been down this road before so it makes me cringe a little for its tedious descriptions.

I don't really want to fill my head with images of rape and butchering, especially if I cannot identify with either the victim or the perpetrator. But Frozen Heart does offer more than that. It comments not only the destructive nature of humans, but also this idea in conjunction with modern social technologies. It also has the characteristics of a joke, or perhaps a Ghost Story one would tell around the camp fire with it's twist ending.

To sum up, I enjoyed it ... at a distance.
Hope I'm not being too critical (or that my criticism is constructive). Now moving on to story two ;)

Not too critical, at all. In fact, the best critique/comment I received for this one. My goal was to stay true to the initial chapter and test my skill with the really gross/grotesque. Like you, though, I've had my fill...for the most part...lol. Thanks!