Discussion of "I Have 30 Days to Live: Day 3 (Part 1)" by writerwannabe

I confess. Lots of grammatical errors. Normally, I proofread before I publish and get most of these kinds of errors but...I didn't this time. Damn.

good flow and additional charachter build. introducing the wife and kids. I liked the way you have him struggling internally...and the scene withthe milk. this poor guy.

Agreed, I like the internal struggle and brining the family in more is obviously important to that struggle.

You proactively fixed my biggest concern about this story. You countered the last chapter well. You gave life to his family, and you typos did little to hamper your storytelling.

Very well written, very good mash from the previous chapter. Him procrastinating to tell her was a very good leave.
The struggle he was having with trying to keep it together then having a hallucination right in front of his children...nice