I stand still and brace myself. I'm center stage in the school auditorium when no one is around. In reality, I'm alone. In my thoughts, the audience is dark with a hundred people supporting me. The spotlight's on me. My knees shake, my voice wavery as I try and sing "Someone Like You" in my head voice. The audience would be disappointed in me. But right now, I'm just disappointed in myself. C'mon, I told myself, I know I'm better then this. What's wrong with me?
I try and stand with better posture, with my feet firmly on the ground. Singing's my passion. It's my talent that helps me deal with my life. Dad's gone, Mom's struggling with the bills. I'm an only child, but to us it's as difficult as raising six. But singing...relaxes me. Gets me through the day. Of course, I do have to wait until school ends to get some privacy, but it's worth it. The feeling I get when I sing, it's just....so perfect. Adrenaline rushes through my body and out of my mouth comes this sweet sound that no one knows about but me. I love to project my voice and fill the large room with my words and tunes.
My feet now firmly planted on center stage, I close my eyes. The spotlight fills my body with a warm, pleasurely feeling that only I get. The stage is where I belong, for sure.
I open my mouth, but then reluctantly close it. Think about the words, Jesse, I say to myself, from there your voice will know where to go and what to do.
"I heard that you're...settled down, that you...found a girl, that you're...married na-a-ow. I heard that your dreams came true.....guess she gives ya things.....I didn't give to you-ou."
The words come out of me like a cool, pure creek flows in the summer.
Oh yes, this is where I belong. This is where it's right.