Discussion of "Chapter 2 Memoir Blues of a Choaos God: Possibilities" by whisper55

I know it's late for this but the other threads confused me.

Great job, Whisper55. I like the ideas you put in here, and the atmosphere is consistent with the first chapter, which I consider to be perhaps the most important aspect of preserving the integrity of this story. I know my contribution comes after this, I failed to notice that the first two chapters are by the same author, which I think is not allowed. I would not mind re-aligning my approach to follow you! I am sure I speak for all of your fans in suggesting we would love to see you spend more time with grammar and sentence structure. Reading it aloud to yourself would probably weed out a lot of this. I am not sure why timeless super-beings need cell phones to communicate. Oh, I read in the blog that the deadlines for the chapters here are not set in stone, but are designed to try and keep things moving. If there is more you would like to add to your chapter, go at it, take your time and re-submit- I'd love to read it!

Hi actually writing it first by hand would help. I am terribly hillbilly and have a problem with grammar. I write how I speak.

Hi Whisper! I love what you've done here. I think you kept up the tone well, I like the characters you added, and I think you've taken us in an interesting direction. I have to echo Cornelius though, watch your grammar, you owe it yourself to be a little more careful. And I didn't get the cell phone thing either. This dude can undo the laws of the universe, he doesn't need a cell phone. Nice work!!

I don't know this thing is also posing as human but you could be right.

I get it, he might have a cellphone for any of his earthly interactions, but I don't think his boss would need to call him on it to get him a message. Also, he thus far seems as detached from what we would consider human interaction as possible:) Again, good work. Keep it up!