I like this needs some fixing, but story lines strong maybe need to fatten it up a bit if you was going to send it into a mag..

Would like to see the end myself.

I don't think the story could end any other way for the fight of good and evil must go on. Good job. Good luck.

A woman being raped is not counted as horror? I bet ya the woman that gets raped thinks of it as horror. Some of my greatest horror writers doesn't use monsters but use the human monster. I think this is what your aiming for. Good luck.

I like this too. But in the chapter before this it was mentioned the brothers but later said Billy Ray had no kin.

WOW, this is beautiful....I may write something to it but not as beautiful as you've made the start. I worked in a nursing home and death can be beautiful in it's on way.

Is it warm here....you know how to keep the tension going.

Hey I can't see how I could do better on this and you gave us all more to work with.

Hi actually writing it first by hand would help. I am terribly hillbilly and have a problem with grammar. I write how I speak.

I don't know this thing is also posing as human but you could be right.