Why don't people continue any of these stories??

its gotta be a true story...
wow, well written

Personally, if the first couple paragraphs bored me, I would have stopped reading. I did not. I think it sets the scene well.

Personally, if the first couple paragraphs bored me, I would have stopped reading. I did not. I think it sets the scene well.

I'm sorry! I forgot I post that here and didn't come back to look at the responses.

Thank you so much for your thought though!

I hear ya...and I agree. I actually bought the kids' presents myself, and paid some of her bills when I got donations. I ended up handing her $50 of it though so she could get groceries, which she did.

I didn't think people would want to help someone they didn't know, but I promised her I would post it everywhere I could, so I did.

Thanks for the comment!

I wouldn't even ask if it were for myself, but if you saw her little kids, and knowing she has $23 to her name until who knows when...

I'm slipping................

except me....I just keep slipping and slipping, lol....well, at least its because there are some damn good stories ahead of me!

I like how you made Jake the "bad guy", or part of it, but I think you needed to transition to that a little better. We left him in the last chapter very upset and crying to a sudden matter of fact coldness. I think that could happen, but needs to go there in a believable way (ie: Suddenly Jake stopped crying. It had been an act. He met my eyes with the coldest expression, etc etc).

Other than that, I thought it a great idea to give it this twist!