Discussion of "Breaking Glass" by wanda_not_alvin

That is positively wonderful! I wonder if the story is true or just a very brilliant lead-in to some of my all-time favorite lyrics...either way, I love it! You made my day!

terrific. didnt have the emotional power of the first, but it also didnt need it.
Good chapter.

I liked it; I thought it was clever and it built up to a nice climax with some emotion. Now, running the risk of being ridiculed can I give some constructive critism?

While I thought the story was good it was all a little abrupt, I think it would've been good with some emotional build up, maybe some dialogue between girlfriend/boyfried. I just think this would draw some emotion to it, and give the 'girlfriend' a bit of character, because at the moment she's not really in the story at all, I think the furthest you go to describe her is as 'girlfriend'.

A couple of nagging structural points, I know it's all up to you, and none of this is all too serious, but you rarely find parenthesis in novels. It just looks a little lame, a semi-colon would do fine.

There are a couple of plot holes, and I just feel the plot has been stretched to fit around the lyrics. Don't you think if he was angry enough to use expletives on the floor he'd break the record or something? It seems odd that he'd take it with him. What else seems odd is that she breaks up with him, then goes to the toilet and tells him to stay, why? Was the conversation not over at this point, I don't see why she'd want him to stick around.

That being said, I like David Bowie, and I liked your writing style, it's just that the plot didn't really sit with me.