Listen the words of a lunatic are cheap especially when they he meet an old freind he hasn't run into for a very long time.  In my ravings I stumbled and fell into a culvert. 

The blank-eyed corporate types peered in, one or two offering to help.  I told them I wanted to die here, now, alone in this squalid setting befitting a murderer, a cad, a threat, unworthy parent and god knows what else.  I lay there staring at the sun until something hard bumped against my head. 

It was a half finished bottle of Jim Beam. "Viva skid row!" I shouted an downed the contents, figuring the contents of the pharmacetiuticals the man injected me with would finish me off. 

Darkness......

Then I felt a taping on my left foot, gently at first then insistant.  Finally I woke up.  I was still laying on the bottom of the culvert covered with a murky substance that emitted from one of the drainage pipes.  The source of the kicking was a small man, maybe three feet tall.  He was dresed in all green with curly shoes and a bushy orange beard.  He looked at me pensively while he smoked his corn bob pipe.

"Say mate,are you going to let me finish that fine whisky or or your going to horge it like a jerk? 

He finished it in one gulp and sarted at me mockenly.  "Say mate? What's your problem?  By they looks of you you are not doing too well in the lady department,"

"For your information Iam dying, I have thirteen, no thwelve days left, and I am a total screw up," I sobbed.

"Well boo hoo!, Just think about the thirteen Pakastani family members who bought it today because an American Drone thought their wedding party was a Taliban hideout!" kABOOM! All gone, noboby cares."

But you my friend are fortunant, my point is that you are gert to know how long you got, granted the last week or so may nor be that plasant but still, you have time to do something that will make your family proud!"

He stood up and helped out of the culvert.  "Beleive it or not this might just be your lucky day.  See that rainbow and where it landed? He pointed me to the spot where I just lay. 

Why the rainbow did stop in that filty disease fijlled culvert.

"And you know what that means?" He raised one eyebrow.

"Gold!" I exclaimed, feeling better than I had in a long time. 

He handed me a shovel, "let's not dwadle, put you back into it."  He sat and smoked while I labored.  Finally we struck metal.  He levatated the small box and popped the lock. 

There were so much gold and gems that I was sure I coulde use it solve my family's problem's.  They would never have to worry again...after I am gone.  H e caught me sniffling. 

Looking at me sternly he snarled. "What are you thinking about jerk!?"

"My wife and son, people who care abaout me, they need help."

"Bah, the insurance will take care of them.  But for us, we are buying a Jaguar and heading to Vegas.  These last few days will be your best.  Why we may even get you laid."