Hey writerwannabe, liked your piece. You have a smooth style that moves along quickly. I admit when I first started to read it I was afraid it would be an "aw shucks" romantic piece. But I was wrong, this story has potential for interesting twists....

Other than flipping from past to present tense and some spelling errors, (who am I to talk!) the story was quite good, keep it up.

In the short space aloted, you covered a lot of ground. Good, good drama and suspense building. Can't wait to read the next installment.

Well, word junkie, that is a mighty fine piece of work you have going there. After the bear gets bonked on the head what happens then? Keep going please!

Thanks man, your feedback means alot.

Ahh, the old plastic fork melting on the chick's tongue gag. Love it! We need more humor like that around here. Like your name by the way.

Well you certainly piqued my interest by blowing someone away in the first sentence. Good start but who or what is the protaganist, really? When she drove off and pulled out this small device, what did she blow up? the motel? earth? universe? I'm a little confused. Anyway good show, keep writing.

Good cynical start, of course we know God is everything and will justify our actions especially in these times of financial meltdown. Go where few dare to tread and you will do alright.

Hey man, I really really like the concept of this piece. Intelligent stories about the illuminati and what they are up to are in short supply. This chapter piqued my interest but was way too short. Flesh it out and keep it coming.

Ah, another slice and dice baby yarn, this one with a morbid twist yet. Two thumbs up and keep 'em coming.