Savannah stared at the man sitting across from her. She found it difficult to get comfortable in the chaise he asked her to sit in. Her boss, Dean Martin, had given her the day off, with pay. She was sure it had something to do with the performance she put on, but she decided that she should take advantage of the time off.
She had awaken in Dwight's arms this morning, to the sound of giggles. Peeking at them were two sets of eyes, Izzy'z and Jake's. She touched her fingers to her lips, which were still tingling from the the kisses that Dwight had blessed her with. After feeding the brood, they got dressed and Dwight carted Isabella off to school. Savannah gathered Jake and Nicky, and after dropping them off, she drove the half an hour to Dr. Scott's office. Dwight had promised to meet her there.
Savannah looked around the doctor's office. The walls were an icy blue gray and his furniture was black and leather. His accessories were cobalt blue and fire red. She loved those colors. The office was simple, yet chic.
He was tall and obviously loved looking good, because his clothes were immaculate. His shoes looked like he had bought them five minutes before she showed up. He did look nice in the dark gray sweater and blacks slacks he wore.
"Whenever you are ready, we can begin."
She was sure he was irritated. They had been sitting in silence for about twenty minutes, him looking at her and she looking at him.
"I'm not sure where you want me to start."
"How about telling me why you're here." He crossed his fingers in his lap.
"I think I'm going crazy. I want to kill my boss and I laugh when I scream at my kids." She maintained her eye contact with him.
He jotted something down quickly and looked back up. Savannah never liked the way psychiatrists jotted things down, with their judgmental notepads and pens. She remembered sitting in the office of a psychiatrist and instead of answering her questions, he would just ask them and write things down.
"What makes you so angry with your children?"
"I'm not even sure it's them I'm angry at. I know they are just children and I love the way they look at the world, so innocently. But it's like after I come home from work, I have zero tolerance and I'm so tired and everything irritates me." She said quietly.
He wrote something else and looked up quickly. "Let's come away from your family for a while. What is it about work that has you so stressed out?"
Savannah avoided his glare. "It's nothing really. I'm working on a new project that has added a little bit more work to my already loaded plate and I suppose I am having a hard time dealing or coping or whatever word needs to go there.
"You know communcation is majorily non-verbal. There was a lot of movement in your eyes and some stiffening in your body all together."
"I'm aware of that. But you have to give me some leeway because this is my first time in therapy." It was a lie. She spent a few months in therapy when she was in high school, but that was none of his business.
"Savannah, whatever reservations you have about therapy, I'm telling you that they will keep you from making progress."
"Fine." She sighed real loud. She knew there was a such thing as patient- doctor privelege. But she was sure that her lack of trying would get back to Dwight and she didn't want to disappoint him. "My boss has been making subtle passes at me for a while. The other day, he was very blunt about what he wanted and he threatened my job. Then I basically cussed him out and threatened to expose him. And I imagined killing him."
"Why do you think your reaction was so strong?"
"I don't know. I thought that's what I was coming to you for."
"No, my purpose is to help you to understand what you are experiencing so that we can get you on the road to recovery. And if medication is necessary, then we will take advantage of that option." He shifted his notepad in his lap. "I think you are what we call, passive aggressive. You let things build up and then when they get too big, you explode into almost psychotic rage."
"That's not true! You don't know me!"
He scribbled something on his pad and stood up. Savannah watched him with her eyes as he walked over to his desk, and grabbed some cards. "I'm going to ask you to look at these cards and tell me what you see."
She rolled her eyes and watched him hold up the first card. "A mountain," she answered dryly. She could see his jaw muscle tightening and she smirked as she went through ten cards. He slammed the stack on the couch and stood up again. "Get out." He said calmly.
Savannah stared at him in disbelief. "What?"
"I don't really care if you get well. Chances are high that I will never see you again. So the fact that you might be crazy will have no bearings on me. But I am sure that your children will be greatly affected, your job, and your relationships. So, I will not hesitate to kick you out of here. I have plenty of clients who would love to be here." He said crossing the room over to his desk.
"I'm sorry." Was all she could mutter.
He just returned to his seat, grabbed his notepad and looked at her. "I get paid for a full hour whether you get anything out of it or not. So, if you're ready, I would like to begin."
Savannah nodded and told of her youth, where she lived in fear of a father she hardly knew. She told of the verbal abuse she and her sister suffered and the physical abuse their mother dealt with. She held back rage as she spoke of the very unstable relationship between her and Mike.
"Do you blame your father for what happened between you and Mike?"
"Somewhat. I have a hard time being affectionate and that was one of the reasons that Mike and I ended. He said that I didn't show him enough love and that he had to find it somewhere else. But my father never really showed me how to be in a relationship with a man and my only example was the one between him and my mother."
"From what you explained, it seems that your father may have suffered a more severe case of mental illness. Are you afraid that you are going to go through the same thing?"
Savannah nodded. "I know it. My mom suffered from a mental illness and we are not sure whether or not it was because of our father or if it was genetic. Either way, I'm bound to get it." Savannah fiddled with her fingers.
Dr. Scott took a few minutes to jot some notes down and he looked down at his watch. "Well, I must say that it has been quite an hour. I have a client coming in about fifteeen minutes. But if you would like, you can check with my secretary about what dates I have available. If you want to come back."
"I would. Sorry about all the attitude." She gathered her belongings.
Dr. Scott stood up, walked over to his desk and sat his notepad on top. "Good. I'd actually like to see you next week." He stopped and pressed a button on his intercom. "Karen, come here for a moment."
Almost immediately a young woman, no older than mid twenties appeared, clutching a notepad to her chest. She was pretty, her long hair swept back into a ponytail. She wore a light gray pencil skirt and a white cotton button up shirt with a belt around her small waist. She had on a pair of black Mary Janes and only a silver bracelet and silver hoop earrings.
"Yes, Dr. Scott?' She replied sweetly.
Savannah could sense the emotion emanating from Karen. She watched as the young woman's eyes roamed all over Dr. Scott. He seemed oblivious to her glares and went on with his orders to her. After Karen scheduled her appointment, she said another good bye to Dr. Scott and headed for the waiting room.
When she walked out, Dwight stood up quickly and wiped his hands on the sides of his pants.
"You're still here?" She asked, surprised to see him. He did look good standing there in a white Polo tee shirt and blue jeans.
"I... um.... wanted to see how things went." He paused and moved closer to her. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. He's one tough guy though. He even threatened to kick me out. But I made an appointment for next week. He might be good for me."
"Good." He grabbed her hand. "Well, I have the day off and you are done for right now. Izzy will be in school until three and when do you have to pick up your boys?"
"Around the same time." Savannah blushed, wondering if he was suggesting what she thought he might be talking about.
"I was wondering if you wanted to go back to my place and have lunch." He looked in her eyes as he waited for her to answer.
Savannah looked around his living room. It resembled hers in terms of color scheme and furniture. His layout was one of function, rather than aesthetic. His curtains were dark and she enjoyed how relaxing the dimmed living room was. She could hear him tinkering away in the kitchen, probably making some fancy gourmet meal. Savannah kicked off her shoes and sat on the sofa as she was instructed.
The only signs that a child lived there were frames and frames of him posing with Isabella. She was a beautiful little girl. Cocoa skin underneath dark, black curly hair. She had large deep brown eyes. Savannah took her shoes off and sat down on the couch. She curled her feet under her butt and let her body sink into the sofa.
"If it's too dark in here, I can turn the lights back on." Dwight exclaimed, carrying a tray into the living room. He sat the tray on the coffee table and sat on the couch next to her. He'd prepared a grilled chicken salad and had poured two glasses of wine.
"No, it's fine." She paused. "I didn't know you could cook." She chewed on a morsel of chicken.
"Don't be fooled. I do burn things around here. Sometimes Izzy has to eat at my sister's house. I can just scrape the burned part off, but Izzy doesn't like to do that." He smiled.
"It took me a while to get used to cooking. When I first got with Mike, I didn't have to really cook because he liked to. I just learned from watching him."
"Yea. I understand." He shoved a forkful of food in his mouth and before he could finish chewing it, he had another forkful going in. They sat and talked about their goals for themselves and their children. A little while later, Savannah pushed her plate away and sat back on the sofa. Her belly was satisfied and she hoped she would be able to keep her eyes opened. Dwight stood and took their plates to the kitchen. Rejoining her on the couch, she realized that he had sat a little closer than last time.
Savannah moved her hand slightly and it brushed up against his. He looked at her out the corner of his eye. There was no denying the tension between them. She reached over suddenly, wrapping his arms around his neck. She pressed her lips firmly to his and felt his bodycling to hers. She sank down on the couch until she was under him and pulled him down over her. Softs moans escaped his throoat as he pawed at her thighs and her butt.
She could feel the desire building in her as she fought hard to refrain from ripping him apart. She was suddenly distracted by his phone vibrating.
"Ignore it," he whispered as he sucked on her neck. She closed her eyes again and allowed herself to slip into the heightened anticipation of being with him. She had thought about it long and hard over the past few months but did not want to appear easy. But she wanted him. And it had been so long since she had been with any man, so she was long overdue.
Dwight grabbed at her buttons and freed her breast from her shirt. He rubbed them slowly until she felt she would burst and their lips met in an explosion of desire. Dwight's phone vibrated again but he did not move a muscle to indicate that he had any intentions of answering it.
"Dwight?" she whispered into his ear after she kissed it. "You gonna get that?"
He shook his head no as he concentrated on drawing circles on her breast with his tongue. She pulled his shirt over his head and ran her hands up and down his strong back. She closed her legs over his back nad pulled him closer. SHe could feel his desire pressing up against her pelvis. When his phone went off again, she pushed him back. Dwight reached over quickly and looked on his phone. Savannah did not miss the look that flashed across his face. He pressed a button on the side, which stopped the vibrating and put it back on the table.
"I'm sorry. Bill collectors." He grinned in the dimly lit room.
Savannah felt a little uneasy but wasn't sure if she had the right to get upset. She wasn't his girlfriend and she wasn't his wife, so if it was another woman, what could she say. But if he was lying? As she looked up into his face, she could not help but to wonder if she was signing her soul over to the devil again. She could see that he wanted her. It was all in his eyes. And in the way that he touched her. Perhaps her doubts were linked to what happened between her and Mike. Shrugging her feelings off, she pulled Dwight to her once again and reached for his belt buckle. She struggled with it for a few seconds before Dwight took over and practically ripped them off himself. He stood up to take them off and Savannah watched with delight as he stood up to reveal exactly what he had in store for her.
"You like?" He asked, an intense look on his face. She nodded and reached for him. He kissed her passionately, reaching for her jeans and helped her kick them on the floor. Moans and groans filled the dimly lit living room.
"Knock, knock, knock!!" The banging came abruptly and Savannah found it hard to focus on him sucking on her ear when the door sounded like it was going to break down.
"Dwight, Dwight. Aren't you going to answer that?"
He groaned in her ear and sighed before hopping up, grabbing his pants and running towards the door. Savannah rested her bare leg on the top of the couch and rubbed her stomach. She was eager for this. She longed to have his hands caressing all the pain out of her body. To have his lips kiss away all the loneliness. Even if it was only once.
She sat up slowly as she heard heated whispers coming from the front of the house. Savannah stood up and crept to the entrance of the living room. Trying to avoid being caught, Savannah peeked her head around the corner and saw a shirtless Dwight holding the wrist of a tall, slender woman. From what she could see, the woman was beautiful. She was wearing a short bob, cut to her chin and black heeled boots.
"This is not a good time, Sandra." Dwight whispered, looking back towards the living room. Savannah ducked back just in time.
"You asked me to come over and now it's not a good time? What is it? Do you have company? Is your little girlfriend back there? Does she know you called me over here?"
"You know why I called you over. I was calling you for Izzy. She's been asking about you." Dwight whispered fiercely. Savannah could not miss the apparent attraction between them. Sandra raked her fingernails down his chest and he grabbed her hands and pulled her close to him. Sandra pretended to fight him off until she leaned in to kiss him. "Get out." Dwight demanded but Savannah had already turned away by then.
She had seen enough. Gathering her things from off the floor, she quickly stepped into her jeans when she heard the door close. Dwight appeared in the doorway. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."
"Me too." She sat down on the chair and stuffed her foot into her shoes and stood up.
"Savannah, listen. I should have told you but I didn't know how you were going to react. I know you've had some issues with trust before. I didn't want to add to that."
"Well, you did." She sighed. "I have to get out of here. I don't know what's going on." She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed her bag on hr arm. Savannah made a bee line for the door but Dwight stood in her way.
"I said I'm sorry. But I didn't think I had to tell you because that's between me, her and our daughter."
"You didn't. And it is between the three of you." She pushed him out of her way and made it to her car. Savannah shook her head and fought off her anger as she pointed her car in the direction of her house.