After reading the first chapter of this story, I found myself intrigued. I do agree that a little more fleshing out of the details would have made the story even better. As far as David suddenly stopping in the middle of his violent tirade, I associated the fact of his stopping with the prayer that Natalie made or the fact that he really is crazy and stops just as suddenly as he starts. We all have heard of divine intervention and people being so crazy that as soon as they start something, they stop it. So CeeCee, good way to start the story.

thank you kindly! ia really appreciate the feedback!

Thanks again. Sometimes I'm writing so fast that my thoughts run together and it's difficult to keep track. Dwight's description, or lack thereof, is on purpose. Savannah's relationship with MIke has made her see men in abstract. Even though she is not telling the story herself, it kind of gives the reader (at least I'm hoping I can pull it off) a sense that she cannot look at any man as an individual. It is only as the story progresses that the reader can see how the descriptions of the characters, mainly maile characters becomes less abtract and more personal. Thanks as always for the comments. They really help me out.

Thank you as always. I am trying to present a real situation, without creating another story about male bashing. Hope I can!

Thank you. That's what I was going for. I'm trying to make it realistic enough for people to think that it really could happen.

Thank you for pointing those things out. I was actually in the middle of writing another story when this one came through. Probably why there were so many things that didn't work quite well in the beginning. After I published it though, I realized that. But I'm honored that you took the time to read my story. And please, if you have any other input, I welcome it. Thanks a lot!!

Thank you. I found your beginning to be quite interesting. I wasn't sure if you were interested in making your character an assassin, but I thought it would be fun to try that aspect.

Thank you Nate. I appreciate the comment. I apologize that it has taken me so long to get back to you. I added the line cinnnamon buns and apple cider for a few reasons. One, because so many people are busy with other things that they forget about the simple "sweets" in life, like buns and cider. Two, when a person has an interaction with a child that seems to be best little person in the world, one of the words often used is "sweet". Am I calling Hannah sweet like food? No. I am equating her sweetness with some simple things that I think people can understand. Here's an exercise: take one of your favorite snacks. Sit some where quiet and take a slow bite. Chew softly. That feeling you get.... that's what Jessica feels when talking about Hannah. Once again, thank you for your tips. I'll be sure to look out for things like that. Be cool, Tobielin