Night again!

Can't sleep!

Try to listen to the wife's breathing,slow and steady,peacefull.

Why does she get to sleep sound soundly?How does she sleep so soundly?It is as if she is unaware of all our problems.Makes me sick.......STOP IT!!!

She is not to blame.It is your own fault,don't let your frustration find focus on her.

Calm down.Slow your thoughts.

3:13 AM

Work in 4 hours,gotta sleep

3:14 am

Relax.

3:15 am

breathe.

3:1.........

BEEP.......What.........BEEP.......SHUT UP!......BEEP.......

7:15 AM so soon,gotta get up now!She is still sleeping.HOW?be quiet let her sleep.

Shower,shave,coffee,kiss the wife kiss the kids and off to work.

Well by now you are wondering,"Who are you" so instead of boring you with the details of my ride to work i will give you some backround info.

My name is Gideon,I am 34 years old and till now i have been running in place.My life(and i use the term loosely)has been anything but ordinary and i guess i can't complain.I have seen and done more in my life then any 10 people you know!

Drugs,women,travel,adventure,war,money.You name it,i've done it.but all that was years ago,now i am a father of 2 wonderful kids,husband to a beautiful wife and owner of a life most people would envy.But most people don't know the price i paid for this life.Most people would curl up in a ball and hide in the comfort of the darkness of their closet if they knew what i gave for this life.

And today is the day that i have to start paying the price.

12 years ago i made a deal.I promised something that at the time i did not believe in.And for that promise i was given all i could ever want,but i was a fool,i never knew the cost would be so high!

God help me i can't pay the price!

I can't!

"YOU CAN,AND YOU WILL"

"Holy ****,where did you come from?"

"I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE"

"No,you can't be here!"

"DO YOU REALY THINK YOU HAVE A SAY SO IN THIS?"

"Please,i can't,not now!"

"IT IS MY TURN TO TAKE THE WHEEL,AND YOUR TURN TO SLEEP FOR A WHILE!"

"ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WERE BEGGING FOR LAST NIGHT?JUST TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP!IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU ASKED FOR?"

"Not like this,PLEASE.............."

"TOO LATE!"

And the the darkness creeps in,sliding over my mind like a warm wet blanket.

"I am sorry world,i had no choice"