Discussion of "Fishing" by thomasodegard

Maybe I should've taken Nash's advice and read through once more to avoid spelling mistakes. Oh well, I think the energy and heart of the story are in play.

You have vivid imagery. Slapping away the steam, the crunching [s]now, the duality of sky and lake. Solid job of putting me beside the frigid lake.
I'm baffled, however, by the sizeable contradiction. "As if he ever really had a father." Did he or didn't he? His mother sent the two of them off. Two men. His father (existent or not) spoke to him. Why the confusion? Is it his older brother/uncle/foster/companion? Why would that be a factor worth hiding?
You've painted a vibrant setting and glimpse of backstory. I look forward to the now story - the situation, the catalyst, some direction to set the ball rolling. I think you can have something occur and still fall within the realm of creativity.

Rephrased, I enjoy your energy. Unfortunately, I missed the heart of the story.

(3)

Interesting start, and welcome to SM. The transition between the present and past was a little bumpy for me, but I'm interested where you are going with it.

I'm in the process of writing more. I'm typing with a broken finger (pointer on the right) so the work is a bit tedious. I should post another section tonight

You could turn this start into a potentially captivating story. What you have so far looks like an idea that's been used countless times, but there's always room for unique perspectives and creative twists. You can bring the quality of your writing up several levels by replacing the "to be" verbs with more specific ones and varying the somewhat monotonous sentence structure.

An interesting story, but like nashvillebecker I am confused about the father part. Look forward to more.

Good job and welcome aboard.
I just read one of my stories and found a gazillion "just's" in it. It's just embarrasing. You know, sometimes it's difficult knowing how dark it is until someone turns on the light.