Discussion of ""October Chill: Devil's Night (6)" by theblackhand

Rough draft...not the finished product. I welcome any ideas before I publish....

Finished product. Hope It is worthy......

Oh it's worthy!!! I thought you did a great job combining all of the elements in the last chapter, but really amping up the tension as well.

Cooool!!! Fulfill! Fulfill! Excellent direction and storytelling - somehow you get rushed though (I know the feeling). Your thoughts and sentence structure are much clearer in the beginning and tend to get clipped near the end. Gave you a five for story!

Very good mash! I agree with honeygloom, too. The phone call from his dead family and the TV newscast were perfect "setups" for the next chapter, as well as the picture of Wineas Randolph (although I doubt it would have been anything more than a drawing) dissolving in smoke. I agree with wsells in that your thoughts and sentence structure were clearer in the beginning and disintegrated as the story progressed. I disagree, though, that that was due to rushing through as you posted a draft a day before the final. I think we are at a point in the contest where almost all of the stories (chapters) contents are excellent. The discriminating factor (for votes) then hinges on the mechanics of writing; grammar, sentence structure, etc. For story, I'd vote you a 5...for mechanics a 3...averages out to 4 points.

Thanks everyone...

Awesome blackhand, you combined everything from the last chapter into a great continuation.

Now I somehow have to write the next part...

theblackhand, man I've really grown to love your writing. Sorry I missed this one until now. Your comment on the graph got my **** in gear to go back and read all storylines and vote.
I gave this one a solid five.

Just so you know, I am working on this post.

Thanks dogdeity11...your one of the best writers I have read. I agree with honeygloom in that whenever you post something I look forward to reading it. Writing seems to come naturally to you.
Cheese, glad to see you got back in the game...