Discussion of "Fresh Fruits and Vegetables Sold Here...." by theblackhand

Vile as ever TBH. Good Job.

This is also posted on the "challenge 2" page.

Profoundly dark...the Master at Work! Superb, TBH, absolutely superb!

Messed up! I totally got chills reading this. And now all I want to know is how that head got downstairs under the floor boards. OK well, there are other things I want to know too, but I'll just imagine...Too freaking creepy, theblackhand:)

I spotted a few tense shifts, just so ya know.

Thanks everyone....

That's **** messed up!

Only a couple small quibbles. If someone is going to scream "Oh God!" and draw it out, he draws out the vowels. Aside from a few select exceptions, you really can't draw out consonants, especially a D. All you can do with a D is stutter. Personally, I think seeing a word drawn out like that sort of takes me out of the moment, but that might just be me.

And when the victim is thinking to himself, he switches from thinking in quotated sentences to italics. I'd say stick with the italics.

I really liked it! Well, maybe "like" isn't the word but it really freaked me out and that's just as good! I know this is for the challenge, but are you planning on writing more?

I am glad you liked it Ace, and thanks for the info. I really don't consider the letters that I use to draw out the screams, I just pressed the D to give the concept of a long scream. I will pay more attention to that when I write.
Thanks for the advice.
I also have to edit better. Thus the case with this one. I may write more Ace, I have some ideas I may post sometime later.

Glad to hear you might be writing more. I look forward to reading it!

Wow! You really know how to give someone the creeps, and I mean that in a good way! I can't wait to see where this goes!!

I love your work, TBH. And I do hope you'll write more.

Was so very happy to see your story was first on the list of newbies....:) Got to hand it to ya, I got the heebie geebies! How morose! How lonely and pathetic and evil! I like the way you thingk...Angie.

Thanks JadeRose, djinndarme, and especially you Persephonie....glad to see you back.

This was so scary! Your imagination is amazing. I got a little lost in a few places but I had to keep going. Really creepy!! I can't wait to read more of your stuff.

Thanks wordwise. I had alot of my work removed from this site, but there are still a few chapters I have posted that you can read.

Everyone has pretty much said it all my friend!
Great Story but I enjoy most everything you write.
Keep it up.

I couldn't wait of course to read this new entry by the blackhand since his/her style is great. This was very well written of course, the suspense is there, the pace is fast. I gotta admit I didn't pick up on the fruits and vegetables theme and I guess it will be explained later. Kind of gave the crazy lady her own nutty personality though. Reminded me a lot of Misery. Overall pretty good 3.5/ 5 stars.

Very good! I like that her name is Lizzie- a nickname given to her by someone else, lends a little-girl-like nostalgia to her character, which is a terrific and terrifying counterpoint to her reality. Great details.

Hey Blackhand, I'm back at least for a visit, I liked this and recognize the storyline, this is a fine contribution. I am torn, one reader commented on a fast pace, but that might actually translate to a tiny bit rushed. I'll offer a 3.5, it is solid, intriguing, creepy and entertaining. Nice one!

Good to see you back Cornelius. Thanks for reading/commenting.