want to participate?
login or register

Discussion of "To a girl, plain we grow, ch 1.5" by the-swamp

0 HuntsFamousWolf 8 years, 8 months ago Reply

this is intresting, standing up for the mother very typical

  hidden comment from HuntsFamousWolf with score of 0
0 HuntsFamousWolf 8 years, 8 months ago Reply

all the pretenses of the shoes was great

  hidden comment from HuntsFamousWolf with score of 0
0 HuntsFamousWolf 8 years, 8 months ago Reply

look at the people you attract and the people you are attracted to, you are somewhere in the middle enjoying it all or fingering the knife end.........very true in which you said. i felt wierd when i read this i did not know it was you, felt like weird this person talking like they know me.....people will change you if you let them..........

  hidden comment from HuntsFamousWolf with score of 0
1 nashvillebecker 8 years, 8 months ago Reply

This feels like a mood piece. I like the imagery of him tromping through the thick fog. I'm confused about Ma wanting feet to use the polished shoes - who's shoes? I get the rustle of feet being company, but why would she want feet to kick her? What was the very thing she built a house around? Family?

I love the line "decorate his ball and chain with tinsel and worry." Poetic.

I don't, however, understand the teenaged frogs. Are they Germans in France post WWII?

In short: what's happening? It's one thing to leave a shroud of mystery; it's quite another to deal a game without distributing any cards.

It's short and that wouldn't bother me except for the questions you surfaced and didn't answer. A little more could've provided a substantial chapter. (3)

  hidden comment from nashvillebecker with score of 1
1 the-swamp 8 years, 8 months ago Reply

I was trying to show how this guy sees his parents, their relationship, & his father's relationship with his job. His father kicks his own **** to work everyday to support his wife & kid. His wife supports his in every way, polishing his shoes (the symbol of his employment), making his dinner, etc, because she has built her lifestyle around his work & money. I think he left her because she supported him so relentlessly in something he hated. The boy in the room fears becoming his father, but his mother who has become somewhat demented, is frozen in the role of champion for the ball & chain - that's why she wants her son to wear his father's shoes.

  hidden comment from the-swamp with score of 1
1 Acee_Andrade 8 years, 7 months ago Reply

Swamp, thank you for pointing this story in a direction. I think I'll follow this pathway.

  hidden comment from Acee_Andrade with score of 1
Add Comment