Discussion of ""TORNADO" The End and the Beginning" by thamagnopen

It sounds like a good beginning. I encourage you to tighten the timeline up a bit. Tornados come and go quickly; however, it seems like an eternity while you're in one. I would try some things like describing the wind taking your breath, or feeling the pressure, the force, your ears popping--these glimpses will help to bring the reader into your experience. Things leading up to the tornado and following the tornado may seem very fast (I marveled at the wife's ability to fall asleep so quickly), but slowing the action down in the middle will give the reader a better view of the action as well as the character. I thank you for sharing this chapter.

Thanks so much for your comment turtle-lady, and I look forward to reading your work.
God Bless

I thought it was great. It is also one of my biggest fears, living in indiana. I see that happening to my house in my dreams sometimes. that being the case I don't think I could write about it. bravo. keep up the good work.
Molly

Thanks Molly, I as a child grew up in wichita falls Texas and we lost five homes to twisters before my dad got smart and like the beverly hillbillies, move away from there.LOL
Thanks for your comment.

I have actually seen two of them up close and personal.

Then you know the hell they cause...
Thanks for commenting my Friend.

I liked it, very descriptive.

I appreciate your comment
Thanks and God Bless