Discussion of "Love Eternal -1" by terelyn

The old story: "why is he with her when he could be with me?"

It's an interesting situation that you've set up and I want to know more about the dynamic between the two girls. I understand from the passage that they are best friends but what do they admire about each other? Are they secretly jealous of each other?

Also, I like the fragmented style for this introductory chapter. But I wonder if it might be more readable to group some of the ideas together into fewer paragraphs for the next section... unless you want to go for that other-worldy feel.