Discussion of "The Campus Witch" by terelyn

I would recommend this to be something seperate from your story - it would work well as a character sheet so that you, the author, knows which characters are which.

As a reader, I'm not interested in reading a list of characters and their descriptions. The description should be a part of the story - and there wasn't a story here.

I guess my style wasn't effective. Thank you for the suggestion. I guess I can still continue this, can't I?

You can definitely continue it... but work on developing the story rather than telling us who the characters are. Use this as a reference rather than the start of your piece. Describe the setting and put the characters in it to show us what they're doing. Instead of saying how Samantha picks on Loraine (hoping I got the names right), try making that the start of the story. Show Loraine going into school, and have Samantha picking on her, and then the bf reacting...

Your cliff-hanger at the end would make a better beginning.

Thank you.

Late reading...but, you know, better late than never, right? I agree with hebe. The idea is a good one...a teenage witch! I'm going to read the other chapters and comment on the last one.