Discussion of "The Campus Witch part 2- Chapter One" by terelyn

Much improvement over the first three chapters you've posted. I really like this particular storyline. You've still got some issues with verb tenses and grammar that can be fixed with proofreading, but...you've made great progress! As a next step in improving your writing skills, might I suggest adding a little back story detail.
Example: When the aunt tells Lora to turn her brother back to human form...you could add: "Lora's little brother, Miles, was such a pest. He was constantly sticking his punky nose into her business. Why, just last night she'd caught him reading her diary. It wasn't the first time, either, and Lora was livid with rage. Before she even realized what she was doing, she'd turned him into a mouse."
Or, after your:
"Too bad - they were perfect for each other" :
"Lora loved a good story and she could easily picture the handsome, athletic and popular boy warlock falling in love with the pathetic, ugly, unpopular girl (who could be a witch, herself). It would be just like "Cinderella". Imagine the boy fighting off all those people who would harm the girl with his magic only to discover that, even unknown to herself, she was a witch. At some point the warlock boy would have a problem and the ugly girl, discovering her power, would save the day. What a fantastic story that would be."
Anyway, just some ideas. Keep writing! You're making great progress.

Wow! Thanks writerwannabe. I guess I'll have to work harder :(