Discussion of "Vacation." by tattoozndecepticonz

Hmmm...pretty good detail.

At moments the characters can seem unbelievable, but that may be because I don't know what any of their motives are.

I liked the opened perspective, then you jumped around in limited third-person, which can be a little confusing, but perhaps that was intended.

I liked the Rolling Stones reference, if that's what it was.

Gave it a 3.

A very unusual police officer, to say the least. If he was investigating murders in this bar, why didn't he stop the one he witnessed? I liked the flow of the story, in general, but it was a little confusing. I'm curious to see where you go with this and who the mysterious person is that's waiting in the warehouse.

Good flow, story. I gave you a 4. Read my work when you can..."Gunther", "Johnny Lame-O", etc