Discussion of "October Chill" by sundance711

I found the dark figure to interesting character maybe representing death, or the devoid complete lack of hope that the family feels. I could have used a cut funny animal or maybe lost of blood but other then that a great journey on human emotion. I fill as if I can die happy. Very, very existential

This is a great story start, sundance. Characterization of both figures was excellent. I can't believe that it's been almost 3 weeks ago since you posted this and there's been no continuation, not from you or anyone else!!! I bet that changes...soon. 5 points on the vote table!

Very nicely done and gets a 5 from me too. Since horror is my genre of choice, I'm surprised I missed this one too! Lots of possibilities here...

Great start... hope you don't mind. I am using your story as part of an expiremental project. There will be 8 chpt 2's started here and 8 continued storylines... any added chapters other than those posted by the 8 chosen authors will not be ignored, but simply worked around... hope the storylines come out to your liking...

Something wicked this way came and smacked me in the ****! Very nicely done and a great springboard.

I just read the beginning of this story. This is a good story. I will try to keep up with them all. You guys are spitting these out like watermelon seeds.....I jumped ahead and read dogdeity11's but after reading this one I will now continue in order. I hate I am not a part of this......

For disclosure purposes: I voted a 4.

You have excellent pacing and vivid imagery here. I like the contrast between the man at the door being described as a preacher and as a sinister person. The fact that he's supposedly a "man of God" makes it a little ambiguous as to the protagonist's sanity. Is he being paranoid? Or is this visiter really something to be feared?

Raising questions is the purpose of a beginning, so this chapter does its job well!

This beginning offers many, many possibilites, from a simple story about loss and insanity to a supernatural tale, to a murder mystery, political thriller... probably other things I'm not even thinking of. Hence, it is an especially good start for a contest like this.

There are a few little wordcraft suggestions I would make if asked to critique. Not big issues, just little style things. That's why I voted 4 rather than 5. Excellent creativity with the potential to be an excellent piece of writing.

Hi! this is my first comment here. You have a wonderful start to a story going on. I am glad I came across it, thanks for being creative. The feeling the writing gave off, was really great as well. Just thought it was worth a mention.

Excellent. Leaves me wanting more.

This is a fantastic begining wrought with possible continuations. I've just started on this site and am going to make my first attempt at the continuation of another's work with this. Hope you're at least not offended by where I go. I have a penchant for surprise and the outlandish

you are like that preacher. Am i (we) the narrator,the house storymash.com, and you the brilliant and dark preacher'? I don't know if I'm amazed or afraid. =)

take it from me

Simply brilliant. I don't know what to add that hasn't already been said. I've read a lot of the 'October Chill's' and just come back to this one again; this is just simply the best.

The Godfather to it's sequels.