Hi Lilithia,

Thanks so much for your comments. I really want to add onto Alharris's second chapter if I can. I'm just trying to think what direction I should take it in.

How do you see it continuing?

Well I can't praise this enough. As soon as I saw the title I thought I HAD to know what it was about. And I definitely wasn't disappointed. The introduction of Sara in the first paragraph was simple and yet really effective and I felt it had something other-wordly about it too. Almost like a fairy tale. I loved the image of her flat being "perched" on the twelfth floor too. You can really sense the momentary struggle within her towards the end but I loved that her desire to tell the story overcame her thought of helping him. Twisted and brilliant!

Another great story! It immediately gets you wondering who it is that is watching James and why he has taken the daring step of emailing him what he really thinks of him. Makes me wonder what the relationship is between them. You have managed to build up so much tension in such a short space of time. Congratulations!

Welcome to Storymash Writingcat! I've only been a member for a couple of weeks but think it is such a great idea and a way for us all to share ideas.

Your title got me intrigued and after having read your story I wondered if this was a comment on the useless psychologist or the patient...

There were some great touches in this story, for example: "The heavy tapping sound of her high heels further demonstrated her madness and frustration." I can really imagine the character's anger being reflected in this sound. It sums it up perfectly. Well done! I always find metaphors and images in general particularly difficult so am on the lookout for how other writers do it.

Just one tiny point: when she had the flashback to what her supervisor had said to her I got a little confused about which character was saying what. That may well be just me though! Not sure if something as simple as taking a new line whenever a character speaks would make it clearer.

Anyway, really looking forward to reading more of your work. and welcome once again.

I felt you managed to convey this character's state of mind really well in his disjointed, unfocussed train of thoughts. I can well imagine if there was someone trying to talk him down then this may be exactly how he would rant and rave. I wondered what the title meant, apart from the idea of him ending it all?

If only non-writers realised there was so much involved in putting pen to paper... I really enjoyed the images you brought into this. Well done! Welcome to Storymash from a fellow newbie. Looking forward to reading more of your work if this is anything to go by.

What a lovely, poignant story. I could really sense the longing in the main character. A tale very well told!

Thought it was really great how you managed to conjure up this other planet and its habitants in such a short space. And clever in detailing aspects of their behaviour and way of living through their shock and revulsion at our lives. Excellent!
And now we know now that storytelling really is a universal pastime!

What a great idea for a story! And I'm glad the brat got his comeuppance in the end. I really enjoyed it. Thank you.

Thank you! This really made me laugh out loud. I hope this is the start of a series on awkward social situations. Surely there is an endless source of material there... Maybe the next one could be "How to feign indifference after someone has eaten the last mushroom vol-au-vent you've had your eye on." Brilliant!