A Brilliant Move
by stavlocratz
Dianne Porter knocked on her supervisor’s door. She had been summoned to his office by an email which simply read, “See me in my office at 1:00 today--Kirk Stone.”
“Come in,” he said.
A two by two window revealed an entire world outside the hermetically sealed corporate building. The sky seemed impossibly blue, and the sun was round, and fat, and canary yellow. It was a child’s sun.
“Right on time, Dianne. Have a seat,” Kirk Stone began.
“Thank you.”
“Dianne, do you have any idea why I called you in here today?”
“No, not at all.”
“Well, it has to do with our dress code policy.”
“Am I in violation of the dress code policy, Mr. Stone?”
“Look, I know you’re very bright, so you must have known that dying your hair bright green would be a violation of the policy.”
“I never read anything in the employee handbook that banned specific hair colors.”
“Well, Dianne, while we don’t ban specific colors, we do require all employees to maintain a professional appearance and attitude at all times. Bright green hair subverts that policy, don’t you agree?”
“I don’t see how anybody’s hair can subvert a policy, Mr. Stone.”
“Ms., Porter, I’m not going to let this conversation turn into a philosophical debate. I am simply telling you that your new hair color is unacceptable. I think you do a great job for us, and I really want to keep you on as an employee. You could go far in this company, Dianne, but you have to play by our rules. Now, today is Friday. I’m giving you until Monday morning to change your hair, or I am going to have to recommend your dismissal.”
“Is that all, Mr. Stone?”
“Yes, that’s all.”
Dianne was close to crying when she returned to her cubicle. Hate and frustration reacted deep in her core, forming a caustic concoction that boiled her marrow. Don’t shed any tears for these capitalist ****, she thought to herself, don’t give them the satisfaction.
The answer occurred to her suddenly, the way a brilliant and poetic move will sometimes occur to a world class chess player. She decided to shave her head completely bald. What could they say about that? There were plenty of bald men who were gainfully employed by the company, and if they gave her any ****, she would counter decisively with a gender discrimination suit. Checkmate, capitalist pigs!
“Come in,” he said.
A two by two window revealed an entire world outside the hermetically sealed corporate building. The sky seemed impossibly blue, and the sun was round, and fat, and canary yellow. It was a child’s sun.
“Right on time, Dianne. Have a seat,” Kirk Stone began.
“Thank you.”
“Dianne, do you have any idea why I called you in here today?”
“No, not at all.”
“Well, it has to do with our dress code policy.”
“Am I in violation of the dress code policy, Mr. Stone?”
“Look, I know you’re very bright, so you must have known that dying your hair bright green would be a violation of the policy.”
“I never read anything in the employee handbook that banned specific hair colors.”
“Well, Dianne, while we don’t ban specific colors, we do require all employees to maintain a professional appearance and attitude at all times. Bright green hair subverts that policy, don’t you agree?”
“I don’t see how anybody’s hair can subvert a policy, Mr. Stone.”
“Ms., Porter, I’m not going to let this conversation turn into a philosophical debate. I am simply telling you that your new hair color is unacceptable. I think you do a great job for us, and I really want to keep you on as an employee. You could go far in this company, Dianne, but you have to play by our rules. Now, today is Friday. I’m giving you until Monday morning to change your hair, or I am going to have to recommend your dismissal.”
“Is that all, Mr. Stone?”
“Yes, that’s all.”
Dianne was close to crying when she returned to her cubicle. Hate and frustration reacted deep in her core, forming a caustic concoction that boiled her marrow. Don’t shed any tears for these capitalist ****, she thought to herself, don’t give them the satisfaction.
The answer occurred to her suddenly, the way a brilliant and poetic move will sometimes occur to a world class chess player. She decided to shave her head completely bald. What could they say about that? There were plenty of bald men who were gainfully employed by the company, and if they gave her any ****, she would counter decisively with a gender discrimination suit. Checkmate, capitalist pigs!
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