You are special.

Formatting, formatting, formatting.

Your story is hard to read because it is all one immense paragraph. You should try using the return key sometimes.

WTF?

Great concept! I'm interested to see where it's going.

I actually like this the best of any of your stories. I'm surprised your vamp/erotica piece is ranked higher (and ranked so high). This one is better.

By the way, I gave you a 3

Okay - I read through this whole thing.

It's confusing. Too many names, not enough explanation of anything.

You use words well, in general, but your story doesn't make sense. You obviously understand this world, but no one else does.

I concur that there should be a way to enter stories into the contest, rather than just entering everything posted between two dates.

I did a quick look through of the posts since Oct 20, and several of the highest ranking ones are poems or other works that don't seem to lend themselves to the format of the contest (that is, they don't seem like they need more chapters - they are short stories, or rants, or even suggestions for how to improve StoryMash)

I like your style.

Vampires. Bars. Yeah, I've never seen that before.