Discussion of "Robin's Rabbit - 3" by shadinah

So far so good...

I loved the accidental discovery of chest compressions in conjunction with mouth to mouth. Robin is now officially CPR certified.

sorry guys - life has been nuts lately, but I am officially on vacation in about 12 hours, so will have a week to write! Will hopefully have this posted within the next couple days...

Great addition, Shadinah. Now Robin has company on her journey. (Besides the multi-talented rabbit, I mean...)

Like al, I really liked how the rabbit led Robin to the proper CPR procedure! I almost missed it, but only for a second...;o). In fact, I like how you've built on the rabbit - both the talent he has and the mystery behind him. I hope that I can build on that even more.

I thought you brought the Rose's character into the story very well and her reference to her father being at the tournament not only got the story back on that track, but introduced another potentially interesting character; perhaps even a competitive alliance? Hmmmm....the old brain is whirring...lol

I really enjoyed this continuation, Shadinah!

Loved how you dove deeper into Robin's past, highlighting a possible, terrible, tragedy. I'm also intrigued by her social status - not mingling with peasants and all.

I absolutely LOVED the rabbit and Robin's adopting it. You did an incredible job fleshing out his personality. The mystery regarding the berry bush also added depth and magic to him. Very fun. :D

Now that our characters are back on their way to Ribbon Falls, I can't wait to see what happens next. Well done!

Heh - commented in person, never commented on here :)

Fun continuation - and I'm glad you kept the focus on the competition, while fleshing out these two new characters (the girl and the bunny). I enjoyed it!

shadinah, first off…excellent chapter! I loved this. My favorite so far. You carried over the same voice while managing to up the tempo, add drama, mystery, and some more adult themes/emotions. I thought the bit about her lashing out at the rabbit and in turn saving Roses life was great writing. And I loved the added mystery too. Remembering a similar situation from her own life. Involving her father. Great add!
I thought this was a fantastic collaboration and a really terrific leave for the next writer.
One thing that stood out to me:
I had been reading under the impression that Robin was herself a little girl. Or at least a teenager. Not sure why I thought that? Assumed maybe? At any rate, this chapter established her as being older as she soothes Rose and calls her ‘child.’