Sooooo... I really did not anticipate this project stretching into fall. I am so sorry to do this, but I am coaching/coordinating the kids' quiz teams, and dealing with all the other fun school stuff/extra activities. Plus, looking ahead to a hectic holiday season, something's gotta give, and sadly, this is it. I really enjoyed being part of this project, and wish the rest of you the best of luck in finishing.

wow - getting weirder and weirder! I am curious - I got the impression that Ron wasn't aware of the situation Addie suspected in the last chapter. I'm assuming she told him her suspicions in the intro to this chapter, but all he does is tell her she's crazy? If he had been in on whatever transpired to acquire Joey way back then, would he not have thought of that as well? And if not, wouldn't he have been more shocked at the news of the origins of his child?

eh, who knows - that little pondering aside, this chapter was a fabulous addition.

Good stuff! I am so excited to see this storyline continued.

goodness - this could totally be my husband and I in 20 years or so...

Wow. I must say, I was startled by the shift of genre, but you managed to do it rather well. It was certainly unexpected. The imagery was wonderful, both the description of Joey's fit (very realistic, might I add), to the transitioning between... realities? time/space continuum? Whatever it was, it was good. I think I am now even more interested to see where this story goes!

I meant to comment on this while in draft form - completely slipped my mind... No worries, though, because it is quite good. I especially like the line "I don’t know what bothered me more, the taste I couldn’t get out of my mouth or that there was an air of triumph in the way that droplet slid across the slightly yellowed surface before splattering the tablecloth." Good job!

wow... This is certainly a challenging story, and you did a good job. I do have a gripe, though - in the last chapter, I tried to make it clear that the "Billy" Johnny Ray was playing with was just a doll like "Mommy", and here you have him the antagonist again, and quite violent to actual people. It was a little disappointing, because I had tried to set him up as a possible victim as well, and hinted at his grandparents being possible villains. Mommy's voice changed in this chapter, as well.

A few technical gripes - the biggest being the line "She chilly shiver raced down her spine at the thought."

On its own, I would say this chapter was fairly intense, and the descriptions were quite chilling!

This guy is such a hoot. Makes you wonder how he can survive on his own if he has trouble heating up a can of soup... Definitely needs to find a good woman. Or a good crockpot...

Nice work.

Great addition! I was surprised to learn he works at home on the internet. Nothing against that as a profession, mind you... But it didn't fit with the description of his risk-avoiding family or the fact that he leaves his house all day as stated in the first chapter.
Loved the line about the milk only being used as a moisturizer for grape nuts. As well as the whole distracted food dilemma.

Awesome! This had me laughing. I can't believe no one has commented on the hilarity of the vulgar pea soup. We never had pea soup while growing up, but not for that reason... lol And the chopping of the cylindrical soup into more managable pieces... Brilliant.