'Things Not Made To Open - 43'

The story so far:

"Things Not Made To Open - Prologue" -> (40 skipped) -> "Things Not Made To Open - 41" -> "Things Not Made To Open - 42"

Things Not Made To Open - 43 by scryier

^{The night before my mother's surgery, sleep is a distant stranger. I don't want to be alone. I keep thinking of Jennifer, but I can't bring myself to pick up the phone; not after the way I treated her the last time. I wish I hadn't treated her that way. She's a nurse and after the surgery she can get me some straight answers, but then I remember I'm thinking of melodramatic Jennifer. She'd either want to spare me the truth, or, she'd paint me the worst possible picture in the world.}

^{I wonder how Theresa would feel if I called her?}

^{I dial her father's number because Theresa moved in with her boyfriend and never gave me her number. She had told her boyfriend all about Jennifer and I and he didn't want her talking to either one of us, anymore. It seems Theresa was much more deeply hurt than I ever imagined. I wish I had known.}

^{Martin answers the phone and I apologize for calling so late. I tell him what's going on. I let him know I want to talk to Theresa.}

^{"I'll give her a call, Ben. She'll be in touch with you."}

^{Fifteen minutes later, Theresa is on the phone.}

^{"Hi," she says. My father told me. Your mom is in Brookdale?"}

^"Yeah."

^{"When is the surgery?"}

^{"Tomorrow morning. At nine."}

^{"Norm is on 24 hour call at Kingsbrook. I don't think he'll be home before dinner time. Can you pick me up around 11?"}

^{"Uh huh."}

^{"I'll meet you on the corner of Tenth Avenue and Covington Road, at 11 O'clock."}

^{"Thanks, Theresa."}

^{"Don't thank me. I haven't done anything."}

^{Theresa worked for a short while, in the Surgical Recovery Unit of Brookdale Hospital. She and I are the only one's who show up at the hospital. My father is at work. It was business as usual, for him. It was just another rock and he was gone before I even got out of bed. Doctor Springer gave no indication to either one of them that this was a serious operation.}

^{My sister is also among the missing. She doesn't go to Brookdale. Brookdale is in a bad neighborhood. My sister doesn't go to, or through, bad neighborhoods.}

^{Theresa and I arrive at the hospital around One and find my mother is still in surgery. We spend the next few hours pacing the floors of a waiting room. It's about Four O'Clock when we're finally able to see her. I nervously follow Theresa into the SRU. My mother is sleeping. I've seen my mother asleep in this room before, but this time it's different. This time, she's hooked up to so many different things, I don't know what to think.}

^{Theresa knows most of the SRU girls and she socializes for a few minutes. She comes back and assures me that my mother will be closely monitored. I think it's then that she catches my fear.}

^{"What's the matter?" She asks.}

^{I point to all the wires and tubing.}

^{"I'm sorry, Ben. I didn't realize." She turns me away from my mother. "Look at all the people in this room."}

^{I look around. There are about six other people in the room and I don't what I'm supposed to be looking for.}

^{"Most of them have all the same attachments," Theresa says and I finally make the connection.}

^{Theresa points to a large, ugly cylinder, shoved down my mother's throat. It forces the corners of my mothers mouth so far back along the sides of my mothers face, her mouth is locked in a grotesque grin.}

^{"This is a respirator," Theresa explains. "Surgery in the area of the throat usually leads to swelling and that can block the air passages. The respirator keeps the airway open. It helps her to breathe."}

^{I find myself nodding.}

^{"All these wires that are attached to her chest? They're running into this machine, here. Looks like a little television, doesn't it?"}

^{"Yeah," my voice cracks.}

^{"Well, the wires are attached to little microphones and the mikes are tuned into her heart. Your mom is not young, but as you can see from the lines on the screen, she's got a good strong heart beat.}

^{"All the clear tubes, you see, are intravenous feeds. The machines that they're threaded through, control the flow of the fluids into her body. This one is saline solution. It's water and sugar. Some of the other's are medicines. The bag on the floor is a waist bag. This is all perfectly normal, Ben."}

^{I look at it; all of it and it suddenly doesn't seem so frightening, anymore.}

^{"How did the surgery go?" I ask.}

^{"I don't know, but I can find out."}

^{Theresa walks over to the nurses station and a friend of hers walks up to me and my mother. She wipes down her forehead with a cool towel and checks her blood pressure.}

^{"She's doing fine," the girl says.}

^{I look towards Theresa and she's talking to a Doctor. The Doctor picks up a phone. He's nodding his head and then the two of them are walking off into another room. I'm glancing around at some of the other patients, seeing all the attachments they're hooked up to and taking comfort in it.}

^{Theresa is gone for a long time and it's a little unsettling. It's almost a half hour before I see her again. She walks up to me and she's smiling, but it doesn't look right. It's not her natural smile.}

^{"Your mom will probably sleep until sometime tomorrow. You might want to bring a pencil and a pad with you. When she wakes up, she won't be able to talk because of the respirator. If you have a pencil and a pad, you'll be able to communicate with her."}

^{"What did you find out?"}

^{"Remember that place in Sheepshead Bay we use to go to for a}

^{burger and a beer?"}

^"Yeah."

^{"Let's go there. I need some time to digest everything I was told and be able to tell it to you, so you can understand it. Besides, I'm famished and it's my treat."}

^{I nod. We leave the hospital and head for Sheepshead Bay.}

^{Theresa doesn't tell me anything until we're done eating and when she does tell me, she doesn't pull any punches. I think she knows I wouldn't want her to.}

^{"The news isn't good, Ben. I'm going to be perfectly straight with you. Your mother is going to need somebody to be there for her. She's going to need somebody to be strong. I don't see your father as that person and your sister is off in a whole other world."}

^{I'm nodding again.}

^{"Okay. Let's have it."}

^{"They found a tumor in your mother's esophagus and they had to get it out. There are two ways to go about doing that. One way is to cut open the neck. The other way is to go in through the stomach. They decided to go in through the stomach. Unfortunately, they found a lot of little tumors in the upper half of your mother's stomach. They had to remove about half of your mother's stomach, Ben. They also removed a small portion of her esophagus, because they found more of the same. So now her stomach is pushed up into her chest, right around the lower part of the rib cage. It's cancer, Ben and I don't think that's the worst of it."}

^{"There's more?" I'm totally shocked. I don't know if I can believe what I've heard and she's telling me there's more?}

^{Theresa reaches across the table and puts her hands over mine. Tears well up in her eyes. Tears well up in my eyes, as well.}

^{"I'm sorry, Ben. Would you rather I didn't tell you?"}

^{I can't talk anymore. There's this ball stuck in my throat and I can't answer her. I can only shake my head from side to side.}

^{"They found cancer in the lymph glands. Those are like the distribution center's of the body. She's going to need Chemo and radiation and they don't think she's going to last, very long."}

^{Theresa's voice is cracking and I'm trying so hard not to cry. I just don't want to cry. I'm in the middle of a beer and burger joint and I don't want to cry, but there are tears rolling out of Theresa's eyes and I'm remembering the first time I saw her cry.}

^{I had come home from work and I found her sitting on my bed with my mother's arms around her. She was crying and my mother was telling her she loved her and she'd be proud to go to her school with her.}

^{I didn't know what was going on. So, I sort of walked out of the room and left them alone together. Eventually, my mother came out of the room and said something about her mother being a real beaut.}

^{They were giving out some kind of semester honors and Theresa was one of the recipients. She wanted her mother to go. Theresa's mother, however, had no intention of going. She went on to tell Theresa that she was no daughter of hers; that she was a tramp and a slut and God knows what else she would have called her, if Theresa hadn't hung up the phone.}

^{"Her mother isn't a beaut," I explained. "She's a certified nut."}

^{And now, Theresa is crying again and I'm crying with her and the waitress is standing over our table wanting to know if everything is all right. She's standing at the side of the table with her check book open and her pen poised over the top of the check book, as if she were ready to take our order, except we're both crying and she wants to know if everything is all right?}

^{It all strikes me as so absurd. The whole scene is so **** absurd, I start to laugh. And Theresa starts to laugh and then this gum chewing, bubble blowing waitress is laughing right along with us.}

^{"So," she finally says. "Would youse like any dessert?"}

^{"Sure," I tell her, wiping my eyes. I order a strawberry cheese cake. I take one bite of the thing and I can't eat anymore. I call the waitress over and ask for the check, but Theresa won't let me pay the tab. She insists it is her treat and I give in. I let Theresa pay.}

^{We walk quietly back to the car and I'm not crying. I'm not going to get mushy on Theresa, or, Doctor Springer, or, my mother even though I can't stop thinking my mother is going to die.}

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