The Walking Bird
Chapter 1: The weak winged bird
Society was never alone. Society never felt me. I looked up to society; I always have, like a dying man staring at a bird soaring through the sky. My family wasn’t a wealthy family, but we had money. I wasn’t raised as a normal child; neither did I get normal parenting. My parents were strict and gave me no freedom, because of that the bird did not soar like the others. At the time I did not complain as I thought that was the way to bring up a child. Until later did I know that, my “friends” didn’t get the similar parenting I got as a child, for the past 17 years I have never once used the word “curfew”, as I had no freedom to begin with. I went to a prestigious school unlike all the other children; everyday when I go to school on a bus I’d seen birds flying in groups to and from their nests. I felt envy every time that sight hit me.
School was heaven for me; it gave me the least freedom I needed. People may say my school was strict and that schooling was boring. But not for me, for me it was the only place I could speak and say what was on my mind. You may think that I like schooling because of my friends, but that is not entirely true. I had no friends; I had no real friends who I could trust. Trust for me was something between family and myself, up until now I never trusted anyone else other than my family. I don't know if you call your classmates friends, but I’d imagine not. For me classmates and friends are on two different levels, classmates basically means you’re forced being in that group, whereas friends would be voluntary. Up until the 8th grade I had my “friends” but they were nothing more that douche bags and drug addicts, the seniors will always be with us, ordering us around and telling us to try drinking and smoking. Because of the way I was bought up I decided to stay away from those sort of things, thus I pulled myself away from that group. That was when the wind changed and that was when the bird flew towards a new direction forcing itself against the wind with its fragile wings and pitiful peak.
I had childhood friends who I’ve been friends with for years, but as we grew up our bond got weaker. Their loyalty was proven the moment I left the group, no one came after me, that was when I knew that I was nothing more than an mere shadow of a group of birds. If I were to compare myself to a football team, I would be the cleaner boy who no one really gives a damn about as long as I get my job done. In life I think everyone has his or her own rope, and as you climb up that rope, you proceed towards the future. And as you meet new people you meet new “ropes”, this makes proceeding towards the future easier. But for me the moment I excluded myself from that group, I had cut off the last rope I had to spare. From then on I was on my own. I always thought finding friends was an easy thing, just talking and people would consider you a friend. But that wasn't that case, I felt isolation for the first time in the 8th grade.
From then till now, I would eat lunch alone during lunch breaks. And would hung out with myself. The computer was my best friend back then, it contained everything I needed to escape from reality. It had Internet, unlike my computer at home. My Dad would not allow me to have Internet or even my own cell phone. Because of this I had nothing but myself, I had no personal contact to other people. On the computer I would go onto chat sites where I can meet people who don't know me in person and we can talk like ordinary friends would in real life. That was the closest I got to society. In classes sometimes the teacher would tell us to pair up and I would either be the very last person to become a pair or be the remainder, I got used to it over time. People would talk to me only if I talk to them first; it was more like a response rather than a conversation. They would never carry the conversation on to more than necessary, so I only had short answers, which would satisfy my question preventing me from saying anymore.
I could only watch society from afar, for me it was like a star that could only be observed but no matter how far you reach you don't even have a one in a million chance of touching it. The stars would shine brightly showing off its colors to everything around and I could do nothing more than just watch. I was merely a glowing stone on earth being shined upon by millions of stars. I remember in class we would learn about astronomy, the 9 planets and the sun. Recently Pluto was excluded from the solar system because of its small size and peculiar orbit around the sun. Pluto was the smallest and coldest planet in the solar system and was thought to be one of Uranus’s moons. I sympathize with Pluto, no one recognizes it’s identity; it was the smallest and emitted the least light out of all the planets. It was also the coldest, which made me think that perhaps Pluto could be warmer if only the other planets could care for him.
On the morning of April 4th I woke up before my alarm, it was 6:10AM. It was usual for me to wake up this early because I slept early. After finishing my homework I would go straight to bed, I had no reason to procrastinate, more like I couldn’t. I had nothing else to do but homework, I would then play a few games on the game console before bed. That was basically my day and that was my sky. Go to school in the morning and come back home, finish homework and sleep. The teachers were very fond of me as I did everything as to their satisfaction considering I had all the time in to world to invest into schoolwork. Despite this my grades are excellent, however teacher are fond of the effort I put into my work. The teachers would often see me in the library, they may think that I was there to do research or do something related to education. Little did they know that the library was only a place for me to kill time.
As soon at the clock hit 7, I would turn on the TV to watch my morning weekday shows while showering. Listening to the TV while showering was a habit that I picked up from my uncle who passed away from cancer 3 years ago. I don't know if it’s a bad habit or not but neither did I care. The school bus arrived at 7:45, as I got on I’d see the usual faces, both grump and sleepy. I believe that all the students share the same faces that these kids on my bus. My bus ride would be silent; perhaps a little chat between the kids at the back seat, but that was it. I would never speak a word on the bus unless necessary. The moment I reached school I stepped out of the bus, the wind was the same today as any other day, warm and damp. As I walked into the school I saw the principle and he greeted me as always, and I would proceed to the library and wait for my homeroom to start. As always I would be quiet, waiting for my name to be called. I’d see the usual faces of my very small class, but today was different.
A new student was introduced in our class; it was a skinny girl about 160cms tall wearing a checkered skirted, knee length and a white short sleeve shirt with an emblem on the left pocket, possibly from her old school. Her shoes were shiny and her uniform was in place, it reminds me of my first day of school, so enthusiastic. The teacher told the new student to introduce herself, and so she did in a very timid and quiet voice. The teacher had her repeat herself again as many did not hear what she was saying. I smirked and stared at her while she attempted to speak again. She opened her small mouth and introduced herself again, in a very clear sharp voice. It was unexpected from someone who is shy and failed to speak clearly the first time. The clearness of the voice took me off guard, it was filled with such confidence that it seemed as though it was two completely different people saying the same line. The second person apparently sounded like a confident news reporter who just got her job as a news anchor for the first day after years of practicing in front of the mirror.
After she finished she turned her eyes towards me and gave a confident look, raising one of her brows. As though she knew I was mocking her, perhaps she saw me smirking, but that can’t be possible I had my back towards her at the time. The teacher then told her to take a seat in an available seat. Our home room had 3 long tables, about 3 meters by 1 meter per table, the tables were put into rows so that the students would be facing the from of the class when sitting. I was on the 3rd row and on the very end of the table, I found it very confortable and I don’t have to share the space with anyone and I had the entire 3rd row to myself. Many people did not like sitting at the back, because the door is at the front and once lunch break starts everyone would rush towards that door. So the ideal plan would be to sit near the door, but for me, as I do not care about lunch break, it did not matter where I sat as long as I was comfy. The new girl walked passed the first, then the second to the third row, the row that I was in and surprisingly sat on the other end of the table. This slightly annoys me as I did not get the 3rd row to myself anymore, but there was nothing I could do about it.
The day started with math as our first subject of the day, I looked across the table and saw how popular the new girl was. The new student turned the lifeless 3rd row into the first day of an 80% off sales. Nearly the whole class sat at the back today talking to the new student. It was nothing to be jealous of, new students always get attention on their first day, it’s like a present your parents give you on New Year’s Eve. The present itself is tempting, it is only once you open the box you find that there’s nothing but **** in there. When the clock hits 12:30 the lunch break began, I took out a sandwich and head towards the library as always. Finishing my sandwich on my way there, I opened the door to the library and went in. It was very quiet and the librarian seems to be away, in other words I was alone and got the whole place to myself. I headed towards my usual computer that I use everyday, I sat down and tried to log in, but a user locked it. Meaning someone is still using this computer.
I sat on the library table thinking who might be using it at this time, or did someone purposely left it locked so that he or she could come back and use it after finishing lunch. Either way, it was pissing me off, there were other computers but I wanted to use this one, it may seem childish but that was just the sort of person I am. I looked out the window staring at the sky while waiting for the mysterious user to return. The clouds were white and fluffy as always, the sky, light blue and the sun shining down with it strong rays onto the solid earth. I spotted birds flying from to tree to tree and one in particular had light blue wings for some reason. It seemed to be flying faster than the others or maybe that is just my mind playing tricks on me. But the Blue first certainly had a different flying pattern from all the rest, it stood out. “Trees are interesting aren't they” says a voice. I turned around and saw the new student standing behind my seat with both of her hands on the table holding earphones.
“I wasn’t looking at trees..” I said
“What were you looking at then” she asked
“What I look at is none of your concern… now what do you need from me?” I said with slight annoyance
“Fine… you’re not much of a talk anyway, no wonder you don’t have friends” she said cockily
Her words hit me like pouring lime or salt on a newly made wound. Regardless she was right; perhaps it’s my attitude towards others that drove them away from me. Either way I couldn’t come up with a good comeback so I remained silent.
“I don't need anything from you, thought I’d just say hi to my classmate who didn't come to meet me like all the others, but now that I know what sort of person you are I prefer not to know you at all” she said confidently
She turned around and started to walk away, and then I remembered
“Wait….” I said
“Feel like apologizing?” she asked
“No, are you the user who locked that computer?” I asked
”Could be…” she replied smirking
She then walked away leaving me sitting alone on the library table, that selfish bitch… she locked the computer on purpose and she don’t even need it. I can’t believe people like these, I went over to the computer and tried to unlock it by typing it random words, but I did not know her well enough to figure out her password. I mean I don't even know her name; I would if I listened in homeroom. I sat with my head on the screen giving up when I heard
“Excuse me, this one’s taken” says a man wearing a green T-shirt and blue jeans
“This is your account?” I asked
“Seems so” he replied
That bitched lied to me, I'll get her back for this... I went outside to calm down.
Continue in Chapter 2