He had so carefully and methodically built a multilayered wall around his heart and soul. It was well constructed. Not once during all these 20+ years had he allowed a single individual, male or female, rich or poor, young or old, beauty or beast, to penetrate through to his very being. It was as if she could see the real man that he was. The mere thought that anyone could do that scared him. What really threw him off his game though and made him question himself, was that it was a woman who did this to him. Women to him were just beauties without brains.

Once again, he found himself offering an unknown god a silent prayer. Confusion seemed to be the order of the day now. No longer was he confident that he could continue to be the cavalier swinging bachelor that he was known to be. Something about this woman had undone all that. What took him years to perfect was now crumbling like a cookie around him. All he could do now as he drove away from the train station was to try and figure where it all went wrong.

As far back as he could recall he had always been able to trust in himself: his own abilities, his intellect, his acquired wealth. Not once did he ever really give any thought to anything or anyone beyond himself. But now he found himself questioning his entire value system, his riches, his intellect. Everything he had acquired throughout his short but well-lived life he now questioned. He had her to thank, Jane Johnson.

Without even realizing it he had driven to what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. Ray was in such a confused state over the past few weeks, over this one woman, over her influence on his whole view about life, that he had absentmindedly just driven to nowhere in particular. His thoughts had consumed him. Thoughts that now centered around Jane. Never before had anyone, especially a woman, consumed his thought life the way Jane now occupied his mental faculties.

On the canvas of this mind he traveled back in time to their second meeting. The day after their initial meeting he revisited the cozy little outdoor café he had met her. There was something about that first encounter that made him want to see her again, the sooner the better. That scared him witless. No woman had ever affected him like that before. He swallowed hard as he drove to the café hoping to see her there reading, as she said she would be.

Pulling up in his red mustang convertible, he turned off the engine as he mentally prepared himself to see her again. Unintentionally, he quietly prayed a quick little prayer asking “whoever” to give him the ability to make a good impression on this woman. He had to mentally slap himself for praying since he didn’t believe in prayer, God or anything of a “higher” nature. He willed himself out of the car and headed to the café, hoping to appear nonchalant.

Ray Jones was quite a looker himself. At age 25, he had spent his formative years working hard in the construction business. He worked his way up the ladder, starting out as the errand boy that would do the odds and ends jobs, most of which included heavy lifting. That, and his daily gym time, accounted for his well-built physique. Standing at 6ft 6inches, his tailor made business suit accentuated his robust chest and arms. It was little wonder that he attracted the opposite sex as easily as he did. He was usually the player type and that was exactly his plan with Jane as well. Or so he thought.

As he made his way over to her, he contemplated what he would say. He wasn’t afforded the time to though as this time she was expecting him and looked up from her book.

“Hi Ray. Nice to see you again. Wasn’t sure if you would come.” Her smile betrayed the uncertainty her words portrayed. “Pull up a chair.”

He accepted her invitation and sat opposite her. Once again he found himself mentally thanking a god whom he had never believed existed. Hmm, the second time in two days, he thought inwardly. Must be the heat, he chuckled to himself. “Hi Jane. Good to see you again. Sorry I was in such a hurry yesterday. Had a business meeting I just couldn’t get out of. I’m all yours today though.” His smile went from ear to ear as he tried to sound smooth.

They spent the afternoon chatting away. Ray was really warming up to Jane. It was different though. He was physically attracted to her. That was no surprise. What surprised him though was that he was impressed that she was so versed on so many topics. The women he usually went for looked good but he normally had no interest in them intellectually. Not so with Jane. There was something about Jane that made him want to hear her thoughts on this topic and that.

He willed his thoughts back to the present. It baffled him that he was thinking about Jane this much. Everything about her had intrigued him. He thought about whether or not he would see her again. She had told him that she had to go care for an ill relative. She said it shouldn’t be more than a few months at most. Just in case he wanted to talk to her she had given him her relative’s number. Uneasily he shifted in his seat as he began to drive again. Should I call her? Should I forget about her? God, if you do exist, please tell me what to do. This time he didn’t curse himself for thinking about “God” again. He really needed help and he knew it. He drove off making up his mind that as soon as he thought she made it to her relative he’d call her. He breathed a sigh of relief hoping he had made the right decision. I guess I’ll find out soon enough, he thought as he drove back home.