Discussion of "The Sons of Mighty Herkales: Tigasis vs The Hydra (Chapter 6: Divine Patronage)" by rico76sgirl

Okay, it's here and I have more to add, but I would appreciate any suggestions for improvement, criticism for crappy parts, reaming for mistakes, reminders of anything I have forgotten, etc. This isn't my best nor my 'genre', so to say, but I am open to any changes. I went though all of the chapters and I am pretty sure I have covered all the bases, but there was a lot to do for concluding this. What do yall think? I'm stuck on an ending. :(

Okay, the fight scene were visual and flowed easily; the way Hera lost=excellent. However, the last paragraph falters a little. I would recommend instead of quickly summeraizing everything: have Tigasis and Adrinna make it back to the temple (don't worry about the time-space distortion thing that it took him three chapters/days to get there but only one sentance/minutes to get back...that kinda thing happens all the time in a sword and sandal:) Once they reach the temple of Calisti, High Priestess, and all the others greet them back. Callisti could rush in the arms, and then explain how she confessed her loved to Adrinna, and how Adrinna was torn, so she prayed to Aretimis or Athena. The High Prietess thanks him, and Callisti leaves the covenant and ride off with Tigasis. However, whatever you do, leave the last line. That was so so so I lack the right word; you just gotta love it!

Oh my sweet Jesus, thank you WB! Oh, if you only knew how many times I typed, then cut, then added, then deleted, then scrapped the whole scene completely, then switched this, and moved that, and....AHHHH!(before I finally thought the fight scene was okay, lol) Took me for-frikkin-ever to do that. I am positively thrilled that you liked it!!!!! YAY!

Congratulations on a job very well done! This was an especially difficult project story to close out. Firstly, because of the stellar writer's of the previous five chapters and secondly, due to the tremendous research required to "stay in the game". There's a thirdly, too! I'd been waiting to write the ending and when I pulled out; you came in and in a very short time turned in an excellent piece of writing. Kudo's!

I think you did a great job tying up the "loose ends" and I especially liked the battle scenes with the Hydra (agreeing with WBS). I liked your wordsmithing and the flow all the way through was easy and very well done! Sehr schön...lol.

Second paragraph: "and began the ascend."
Should be either "and began to ascend." or "and began the ascent."

I liked the showdown between goddesses but I'm a little confused at the beginning of it - I think because so many things happen all at once. Maybe slow it down just a tad, but I'm not sure (exactly) what to add to it. I think this line needs just a little more explanation: "The sacred owl was a trick against Hera, and was a calling for the help of the Goddess Athena."

The current third-to-last and last paragraphs throw too much information at the reader too quickly. But, the last line is, most definitely, excellent. I like the suggestion to time-warp them back to Grizlediy before trying to explain anything.

Sorry everyone, I have been so busy with my family this last week and we got hit with some snow that had me stuck at my mom's house for a few. YAY! I do agree that the ending was rushed but I threw it in there for the purposes of expanding on it when I had time. I am working on it and hope to have it finished today or tomorrow. All of your suggestions are being considered. ;)

So I think this is finished now. I went through the chapters and what I'd already written trying to sum it all up and include everything and everyone. Is it done guys?

It's done when you say it is! It's your chapter! Personally, I believe you have excellently wrapped this Sword and Sandal Project.

I like it! This last bit is much better, wrapping up the Calisti part and giving us more of an ending. And I like the way you changed the question about the arrow - this way it's open to further adventures, in true Sword and Sandal fashion! Ha. Well done!!! Publish, by all means!

I WANT THIS TURNED INTO A MOVIE!!!

Starring Kevin Sorbo? :)

Okay, we can have Kevin Sorbo as tigasis, but who should we cast as Callisti, Adrinna, the Goddesses and the Grizeldiy?

IMO, cast should be as follows:

Tigasis= Kevin Sorbo
Callisti= Danneel Harris
Adrinna= Mitzi Martin
Grizlediy= Anjelica Huston

Oww, those are good choices!

I was thinking Sigourney Weaver would make a good Hera, but I'm drawing a blank for Athena.

Sigourney is good. Hmmmm....for Athena, what about Rachel Weisz? Athena calls to mind an athletic type goddess to me, and Rachel was pretty tough looking in 'The Mummy' movies.

Yes, Athena really needs to be a strong, broad shoulder woman. I suppose Rachel Weisz would do.

What about the woman who played China on WWE years ago, beating up the men and all? My son thought she was awesome. I'd say she fit your description, lol.

Yes, yes, Chyna might just be the one...

Then, it occurred to me that most of these are good actors, which goes totally against a Sword and Sandal. I think instead, I'll just get a digital camera, find some bodybuilders, a waterfall, a mountain, create a paper mache hydra, plagiarize a script, and get to work:)

Cool! We'll round up some street bums to play the parts and pay em off in booze and clean socks! Excellent!

Bodybuilder Street Bums that sounds like B-movie in of itself!

Thanks everyone for all the nice comments! I'm glad you all likey because it took me for-frikkin-ever to get it done, lOL!

Finally, I can vote on this....5 stars. Fabulous job, RG!!

Thanks dear! I had a lot of fun on this one!