I wish someone would tell the great grammarian persep... a lot is two words. I loved your story Nash and I am sure we will see your name on the New York best seller's list.

nash,
Don't get me wrong. You have very good writing skills.I congratulate you on your win. I just don't know how some judges can rate something a 1 or a 2. Moreover, some judges comments were clearly digs about other author's works. If a judge has something to say, then say it. Skip the passive aggressive crap. Trust me the judge I am referring to is educated enough to read between the lines.

This whole contest is a joke. What criteria is used to determine a score? The judge's feelings. You rate a piece of work with no specified criteria on its effectiveness or lack of effectiveness? Every work of art or something esteemed of value has specific criteria established to determine its worth. For example, a diamond's clarity and other such factors are rated to determine the value of a diamond. What are these judges basing their decision on? Instead of scores being posted, categories should have been rated. Examples of clarity would include: plot development, use of figurative language, character development, etc..., This current contest seems completely subjective and heavily influenced by other people's comments.

Thanks to all for your feedback. This has been so enlightening for me. Your suggestions, critiques and observations are extremely helpful. Here's to you for giving up your time and caring enough to share your wisdom, experience and talent.

What do the numbers next to the comments mean? Sometimes there is a one and sometimes a two. Where would I read about the purpose of these numbers?

I agree with the comments. I am glad to get the feedback. This is useful inforomation to incorporate.

Yes, we are in the midst of a changing world. Change causes fear in people and when fear sets in, paralysis of a sort sets in. However, history has played this out before, and every time, eventually people rise to the occasion and create a more dynamic place. I liked your art with words, and though it probably wasn't supposed to it made me think about the current election.

I like the idea of her getting one step closer to the killer. I like your writing style a lot. From your words, I could create some pretty good visuals. I had wished for more of a transistion form the original work.

This is a great idea for a story. These kind of fires happen every year in a large city located very close to my home. In my humblest opinion, to make the story stronger, I recommend that you show instead of tell. A reader does not have you to fill in the blanks, so you must paint a picture with words. For example,instead of smoke had blinded our eyes, you may want to describe the imapact the smoke had on your physical body and how the cough sounded, compare what it was like not being able to see to some other situation. I prefer a more descriptive writing style, but I think the story plot is well thought out and lends itself to developing a richer story that shows you and your wife as a couple, story lines for the children, maybe a scene where your wife speaks to you in the final moments of the children's life, etc.

I will make sure to read some of your work and other authors as well. I think participating in the contest(S)will get people to recognize your username. Also, I do believe as others have put it more eloquently, people gravitate to what interests them.
I, too, try not to comment if I don't have anything positive to say. Who am I to discourage someone? I may not like the work, but someone else may think it is phenomenal.
I think you have brought awareness to an issue and awareness is the first step in the resolution of a matter.