Discussion of "A City of Destruction" by politeditor

Control freak cop with an exacting agenda...I can buy that. Good idea. I would have liked a little more insight on the deputy...has he always been this way? Waht triggered this mentality? A suggestion...instead of using terms like "cough cough" and "meow", describe the action....the deputy chocked on his bile that the foul stench of the body forced from his gut before he could regain some compser and continue....a cat lurking on the staircase hissed and meowed, startling the deputy. Watch your tenses. You switched it up using words like has instead of had. I ws hoping for a much more gruesome crime scene then the one the deputy described, especially after you said the coroner had seen just about everything. Seemed a little tame. I gave it a 2.5 for could be better.

thanks persephonie - i will keep those suggestions in mind for future stories! The insight is greatly appreciated!