I'll admit, I have a really hard time writing mashes because I haven't quite figured the balance between saying too little and saying too much...I don't want to give so much info as to "define" what the next person is going to write, but I don't want to give so little as to be unclear/vague, which is what happened here. Suggestions? lol. I have my own idea of what happened to Andy, so I intend to write a third chapter, but I'd still love to hear what advice you may have for this amateur masher...

I am terrified.

Fair enough. In my mind, the third chapter would be what ties things together, kind of like a movie that starts at the ending, but next time I MASH I will be more clear

Howdy Original Sim...

So now we have a solid storyline, some possible madness/make believe on the part of Maybel (according to your comment) and a pick-up truck capable of dragging bodies...

I'll give it a shot! Let me know what you think. I gave you a 4 as well - the style of chapter 1 was a little lost, but that may well prove to be an interesting device later on, for example, during "killings" or something the narrative gets choppy and grotesque...

nice! i still want to see the other chapters...fantasy may not be your thing, but it's pretty interesting thus far

hmm...this isn't where I expected the story to go. When I read chapter 1, I pictured kind of a Lord of the Flies-esque social experiment, or a Brave New World kind of thing. Like you said, fantasy may not be your cup of tea, but I think it's still pretty engaging and interesting. How would you feel about a different New World 1.1 that takes a less fantasy approach?

word. Just...word.

oh, and it really shows a bit more of your breadth as a writer...it seems to be in another league than your other mashes. I can expand on that later...but it's a good thing, I swear!

I got your comment and am SLOWLY going through all of your recent stuff...this is my fave so far. I feel ridiculously uncomfortable. I haven't gone back and read previous chapters yet (maybe I should before I comment...but whatever!), but my question for the next chapter is this: is this a case of multiple personalities, or being possessed? I can see the stage is set for both.
My spidey-senses tell me that the narrator (me, not I) has some sort of...Viking thing going on.

But anyways

What happens next?

I hate Dr. Mehlmann. He's obnoxious.

Like the chapter, though :)