Discussion of "A Winter Fail (2)" by nashvillebecker

Wow, nash! Reading this reminded of how damned good you are and how much I've missed reading your work here. This was so vivid, so well crafted that I'm speechless, can't find enough superlatives.

The introduction of Vic was exquisitely done and the response, or lack thereof, of Ace's main character went a long way in developing her personality. Fabulous!

No change to my comment, but now that you've posted, I've voted - 5 stars...;o)

Great continuation, Nash. You did an excellent job in taking a morsel of a story and expanding upon it, creating the potential for a full on three course meal. Well done, also, in matching the voice of the original.

You smoothly dropped in so much in this chapter - the reason she's traveling in this bitter cold, her backstory, her relationship with her parents, and an old chatterbox named Vic. Great stuff!

Great one-way conversation, Nash. It was a bold move to bring on a another main character to such an introspective piece. It works and works well. But why a Civic Honda? Now I gotta get rid of the Civic in my Mash. I'm glad I kept it as a draft.

I think I ran into that guy on my way to work yesterday. His commentary really works, Nash.

Don't understand why, but I instantly liked Vic. Good job Nash.

Considering this piece was never meant to really be a story, but rather just a sort of snapshot of a moment in my frozen commute-- you've really filled in the biggest gaps in just a couple paragraphs, and gave two juicy starts for the writers following to play with.

Not only did I think that the character of Vic was very efficiently created and instantly likeable, but you also created a character that I could walk down the street and point to. It's like you walked down Bloor Street, grabbed one of the old guys sitting out a Coffee Time, said "I need your help for a moment" and then stuffed him into your computer screen. To have that element of the familiar really endeared this chapter to me.

The only nitpick, the ONLY one... is that it's illegal to use tire chains in the city, otherwise our roads would be the pavement equivilant of ground beef.

And I hope that people won't be so enamoured of Vic that they forget to address the purpose of the main character meeting her father. I'm really curious about that myself and don't want it to be overlooked.