As a self-professed expert on all things, I’m happy to supply answers to these questions and more.  (It’s up to you, fair reader, to decide when I’m answering these questions and when I’m answering the more.)

Q: Why do Women constantly try to save men who aren’t worth it?

Spending men who aren’t worth it screws up the economy. 

Q: Why does it take men longer to grow up than women?

This is an inaccurate question.  Women mature slowly, nurturing themselves with wisdom and experience, learning from the mistakes of others and growing over a lifetime into the beautiful creatures they are.  Conversely, show a man a picture of a naked woman and he’ll grow in mere seconds.

Q: Why do most women think having a child is the way to keeping a man?

Otherwise, the ransom note isn’t worth much.

Q: Why does a newborn baby want to cry without any training to do so?

Premonitions of Chicago Cub fandom (who, coincidentally often look like they’ve had no training.)

Q: Why is sweet sixteen better than sweet fifteen?

Because seventeen eighteen nineteen.

Q: Why do young men crave sex without knowing how to perform it?

For the same reason old men crave sex without having the gumption to perform it.  Key words highlighted.

Q: Why is saying I Love you so easy to say without knowing the meaning?

Speaking words is always easier than knowing the meanings.  Strangely, I can say “thermonuclear dynamics” without building a bomb that will explode, whereas I can’t say “I love you” without someone exploding.  Especially when I say it to someone other than my wife.

Q: Why do wives get half the earnings of her husband when divorced, when she didn’t do half the work?

Divorce lawyers need to eat too.  (So long as clients supply blood, they won’t need to charge more for their drinking habits.)

Q: Why do men cheat when they have everything at home?

In retrospect, covering the walls with mirrors near the poker table probably wasn’t a wise idea.

Q: Why do beautiful women often choose ugly men?

Similar to trick knees, trick questions often cause me to stumble.  The best I have: Attractive men are taken by the gay community?  (Spoken by a happily married uggo.)

Q: Why do some younger women chose older men?

As difficult as the last question was, this one was easy: Beer runs. 

Q: Why is a under age young lady or young man who lies to have sex with an older man or woman not called adult molesters?

It doesn’t roll off the tongue well.  Provide a catchier nickname and it might fly.  Try “JuniorPerv.”

Q: Why aren’t there medicines that cure?

I’ll assume you left a word off this question, without which it doesn’t make.

Q: Why are there always side effects to medicines that suppose to help?

Consistency.  Imagine the outrage if only some medicines produced side effects.  Whiners would gather outside pharmacies with picket signs touting “ON THE IN SIDE” and “SPECIAL EFFECTS.”  Picketers are idiots.

Q: Why do we have daylight saving time?

To better harbor resentment against Arizona and parts of Indiana that don’t observe it.

Q: Why do we think we have to do things to avoid global warming when God decides how warm this world gets and always has?

Steve Prefontaine.

Q: Why is it some people don’t believe that dinosaurs ever existed?

Retaliation.  All Dinosaurs never believed people existed.

Q: Why do people feel death is the final frontier?

If someone else falls off the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Disneyland’s going to have to close.

Q: Why is it far fetched to some that there is life after death?

They don’t own a dictionary.

Q: Why do some people never get married?

Keeps divorce rates lower.

Q: Why hasn’t the auto industry built an affordable car that ran on alternative fuel?

They have.  They won’t, however, make it available to the public.  Give it time and it will catch on in the same fashion as the radio industry in the 80s running on alternative music.

Q: Why don’t they ban the making of cigarettes instead of banning smoking or the God given choice to smoke?

Imagine how warm the globe would be.

Q: Why don’t I see commercial ads late at night asking us to help the homeless in our own towns along with foreign countries?

Michael Moore hasn’t yet been introduced to Bonnie Franklin or Sally Struthers.

Q: Why don’t people with different color eyes see in different colors?

Eyes consist of many complex parts.  Cones are responsible for seeing color, whereas the level of melanin contained within the iris dictates the pigmentation.  Of interest, the iris is attached to a sphincter muscle.  This is why people see so much crap every day.

Q: Why is unlawful sex the best sex?

Answered by a true D&D geek: because chaotic sex is anything but neutral.

Q: Why is there not enough money to go around when we have so many million & Billionaires?

Unlike getting around, going around is priceless.  On a personal note, my issue isn’t with money going around.  My issue is with money not stopping in my bank account.

Q: Why do ask why, when we know that the answers will be according to who we ask?

As the father of a three-year-old, there is no conclusion to draw except why is asked to break the human spirit.  Especially when it’s repeated ad infinitum.

BECAUSE I SAID SO!