FIVE LITTLE PIGGIES

Five piggies formed a travelling group

They drove in their Mercedes Coupe

In search of Leonard Nimoy’s soup

He left it in the attic

The market offered nothing new

At home, no sign of bubbling stew

The third had beef –  that wouldn’t do

It’s too aristocratic

The fourth pig dropped down on his knees

He offered naught but hollow pleas

The fifth one had the wee-wee-wees

(They called her “Leaky Becky”)

No matter what, no soup they saw

With iron will and steel jaw

They left their brick and wood and straw

To save their favorite Trekkie

The pigs searched far and round the clock

From Mozambique to Little Rock

Ambitious help for Mr. Spock

To satisfy his stomach

As each one scratched their chinny-chin

And curled their tails round portly skin

Their Vulcan friend had wiltered thin

He looked like a bulemic

Once more, they loaded up with breads

Potato spuds and lettuce heads

Some carrots, beans, and low-fat spreads

Poor Spock was growing thinner

With situation looming dour

On desert roads, their car lost power

They sizzled there for o’er an hour Hey!  Shepherd’s Pie for dinner!   

HAPPINESS IS AN ANAGRAM FOR “HE SIPS PAN”

It’s odd that you want happy

That’s exactly what I’m not

In fact, I’m rather crabby

And I do not give a hoot

I don’t even think it matters

If this doesn’t really rhyme

It could be that I’m cranky

Perhaps it’s just a phase

I’m more stubborn than a donkey

In a fit of menopause

So I’m telling you to screw it

There’s no happy verse this time

I refuse to try to do it

(Hey wait, did that one rhyme?)

It appears that things are better

That my mood has run it’s course

Does the sky start to look brighter? (Nope, we’re back again to worse.)   

AT THE BOTTOM OF OUR COUNTRY

When I was barely 23

I learned about geography

It really fascinated me

I needed to learn more

I yearned to navigate the earth

To sail o’er the oceans berth

But that cost more than I was worth

So I stayed on the shore

I chose instead to navigate

My journey through each southern state

I started then, I couldn’t wait

To find what joys it held

The Sunshine State indeed was sunny

Alabama folks talked funny

Turner spent a lot of money

But still Atlanta smelled

I bought a compass and I checked

My map was helpful to direct

And yet, I thought to introspect

My mind kept asking what?

If northern states are at the top

The midsection, Nebraska crops