Discussion of "Detour" by nashvillebecker

Great job, Nash! Thanks for building on Det Carter's character. I love your style. You have added your own special flare for inner voice and dialogue without taking anything away from the previous authors. Plus, you've nailed DJ's original Twilight Zone appeal. I just hate to see it end here. I need more Nash.

I like how you brought the detective back into the story.

Fourth paragraph from end: "Pick up a bag to much..." I think you mean munch.

Good so far. Are you taking it further or leaving it where it is?

It felt like a logical hanging curveball to leave the next author. I have further ideas, but I don't want to handcuff Aggs. (If she wants 'em, she has my email.)

One of the challenges of this project is pacings roughly 10-15% of a story and supplying enough to promote the tale while avoiding both cutting it short and adding too many tangents. Generally, I try to answer the hanger before my installment, then hopefully raise the bar and leave something juicy for my disciple. (Follower. Whatever.)

Wrapping up the penultimate ninth chapers will be difficult, but I expect the harder part will be setting up climaxes in #8. ('Course, in Jerry's Adventure, a series of climaxes could occur before then.)

Emailing previous author is a great idea, Nash. It may not be for everyone but it sure helps me each time I pick up the ball from DJ.

Fabelhaft! Ditto al and JD and nash; yep, I think you left it in a perfect place.

Throughout this storyline, I've been thinking of the why's and wherefore's the Dad keeps coming back to life and how the son figures in to that. I can't recall anyone getting down to the essence of that. So...thanks, Nash...;o)

Nash,

My favorite parts of this chapter are:

How Jamie refers to his parents "Mom" vs. "Father"
The father possibly living shorter amounts of time with each incarnation. Jamie is good for the "spark of life" but not "maintenance".

The best is the final line. "I've got it, Lucas." I can't wait for his reaction...

Great continuation. Nashisms like "Japanese crotchrocket" and Pharoah's chariot lacking blue flashing lights - classic, as always. Like the other commenters, I enjoyed the return of Carter and further development of that character. And I can't wait to see what happens next!

Oh, wait. That's me.

Drat...

I liked it. You did a really good job. I hope you continue it. Nice work.

I haven't read the rest of the story. I was just looking for some of my old faves since I have been gone from SM for a bit. Glad to see you as active, prolific and damn good as I remember. Nice work.

Glad to see you put some meat on the detectives character, and i like how you're increasing the sinister aspect of him. To be honest, the last line was lost on me--I have to go back and reread so I can put "Lucas" in the proper context. I was a little confused by some of the flippancy -- I don't remember previous chapters being quite to that degree. The awkward dialogue in the car was really well executed and I LOVED the crotchrocket. I had thought that "crotchrocket" was a regional term just used in Michigan and i haven't heard it for years! Glad to see it's still kicking around. :)