You still have mine, Bill, so I'll assume you're not dropping the restraining order yet.

It felt like a logical hanging curveball to leave the next author. I have further ideas, but I don't want to handcuff Aggs. (If she wants 'em, she has my email.)

One of the challenges of this project is pacings roughly 10-15% of a story and supplying enough to promote the tale while avoiding both cutting it short and adding too many tangents. Generally, I try to answer the hanger before my installment, then hopefully raise the bar and leave something juicy for my disciple. (Follower. Whatever.)

Wrapping up the penultimate ninth chapers will be difficult, but I expect the harder part will be setting up climaxes in #8. ('Course, in Jerry's Adventure, a series of climaxes could occur before then.)

Dunno how much newness I can add, djinn, but I concur that this was a spectacular opener. It's quick and simple like a slap in the face - and it leaves as much of an impact.

The Twilight Zone vibe is fascinating and you capture it without going hokey. Nice crafting. Sure, you could've elaborated and directed further, but it's sufficient and works perfectly for this project. I'll take quality over quantity nine times out of ten. Nice job.

What a subtle dying.

I don't know if it's end of the summeritis, a genuine lack of enthusiasm, or the realization that we're not even halfway through our niners, but the sudden excitement void is concerning. Especially when other quality writers want in. (Hey, Cheese, good to see you.) If Al's running v.2 of this mess, we should at least make v.1 look enticing.

With a[n extended] deadline less than two weeks away, I'll be shocked if everyone gets their chapters finished on time. Momentum is huge for writers. And this project's ball is teetering precariously close to the edge, if it's not already been dropped. Bummer.

Chapter 4 of Death Benefit is up in draft form. http://storymash.com/u/nashvillebecker/bonavore/

Yes.

The two questions in the second to last paragraph are unnecessary and feel like a TV announcer promoting the cliffhanger, but otherwise, it's much better.

Fave: it would have made a great lesson on how to speed past opponents. Always multi-thinking. Self-deprecating. Nice touch with the 9-1-1 and dropped phone. Did Emergency Services answer?

Well played, JD. Well played.

I'd require medication to continue this.

Rumors of my dark side are mildly exaggerated, but you tap into a depravity I'm (at a minimum) appreciative I don't experience on a regular basis. Thankfully, your descriptions are vivid and dynamic; I can often feel and smell your scenes - two senses not always explored to potential.

Your stories are guilty pleasure. A different kind than Howard Jones fandom or the Atari 2600. More pleasure. Much more guilt.

Hope you're keeping your meds balanced.

Ah yes, pacing. I don't tend to worry too much about pacing the story, since there'll be so many other authors contributing their bits. Without knowing the ending (except the final writer), it's hard to separate segments into a good breaking point. More importantly, with the nature of StoryMash, stories require good [cliff]hangers to give the following author a jump point.

I, too, found this chapter a bit short. I like the ending. I like the speed. More could happen in the interim, or you could extend the cop encounter and provide a different kind of hanger.

My approach tends to be a word count (yep, I copy and paste former chapters to get an idea of length investment). Dog's chapters are almost always sizeable, but they're far from slow. If someone puts the time and effort into their words, I'll try to do the same. Too many short-quick-yowza cuts and you end up with a very brief tale.

So far as I know, no one's made outlines of any of the individual branches, right? Which leaves you wide open to write as much/as long as you'd like. But methinks you could do another 300-400 words and it wouldn't hurt it at all.

Dude.

Just like me to publish, then realize I skipped a word in the first sentence. Oops. http://storymash.com/u/nashvillebecker/helifuru/

I find myself sandwiched between two women, once again thinking Dog would be more prepared with better one-liners. While I don't mind following Ace and I don't envy the prospect of making sure everyone follows everyone, you could pretty much take the graph put together for October Chill - 9 authors in that one too - and substitute most of hte names. (http://storymash.com/u/dogdeity11/dakokafe/) Which is to say I'd prefer mixing it up.

As for critiquing, I'm only reading the stories when I get involved with them. I don't foresee spending the energy for a full Nash rant about a story unless specifically asked. There are definite challenges of bending your style to each genre, and yet, I like to think I'm influencing each genre with my own style as I contribute. Could be my ego. Hmm. This is why I tried my hand at the Sword & Sandal, Epic, and Gothic, as none of those were my style either. The bigger a strike zone you have as a writer, the more dingers you'll hit.

At what point is JD (or whomever) picking up the ball and trying to stretch this project beyond the walls of SM? I'm willing to chip in my "entry fee," so to speak, but I'd like this to at least get further than the Horror Anthology Project.

Ideally, I'll have the next Stovetop up tonight. Plus a steak dinner and a nice back massage from the missus. Realistically, I'm looking at 1-for-3.