As a teenager I was sensitive and soft as most would call it. I looked for the best in people and rarely found it, most of the time I found people who wanted to break me down and take advantage of my kindness. I had a few true friends but it seemed as if the people who disliked and hated me discouraged me the most. I would go to school with a positive attitude every morning hoping for a good day but once I entered the “cut” there was always a group of people who didn’t like me at all, to me there was a reason I didn’t understand. . I remember so many times I didn’t know what to say to them so I just quietly walked by hoping they would just leave me alone. I never thought I would be one who was out of the crowd but in middle school that’s exactly what I was. I always had a meaningful perspective on life and made sense of things, which is why most of my true friends liked me. I was also conservative which I think is why the popular ones didn’t like me.
I have been that way and I am still that way, I am 22 years old and still I remember those who did me wrong in my young years. I remember everything like it was yesterday. It causes me so much anger when I think of it; I can’t stop to think rational, I never cared about fitting into the crowd. I was genuine and talked to only genuine people in school. It was hard though knowing that most of the people who acted like they were my friends, I knew they didn’t like me for no reason. I liked to keep piece with people even if they hated me and maybe that was because of how I grew up. Seeing drama all the time as a child, I was tired of it and just wanted peace all the time but they didn’t care about that, they made my middle school years miserable to the point where I skipped school everyday. I made an excuse everyday to not go to school, and if that didn’t work I would walk to school and turn the other direction so I didn’t have to deal with “them.” They probably impacted me more than they thought. I have always been a deep thinker, I think about all situations and why, and I never understood why they acted the way they did towards me until today. Today I don’t care anymore about what anyone thinks of me. I believe it’s because of the things I dealt with in school. People try to disrespect me and I don’t let them, after realizing that I don’t take **** from anyone no matter if it’s a 300 pound bitch or a 200 pound man. A guy I had a major crush on in middle school used to follow me home from school everyday with his friend and punch the **** out of me and I used to just lean against a tree and take it…. I truly think that is why I am who I am because if any mother f*cker put his hands on me today I would truly make him sorry.. I’m not scared anymore and I never will be. You have to learn from your mistakes, even if they hurt. You will be a better person in the long run. . I carry those mean and judge-mental people with me wherever I go and I will always know that I will not take disrespect from anyone, no one is worth your self respect.