Discussion of "Black Converse revelations" by morrigana

LOL...wow, great take on the Black Converse story. It was much scarier than what I'd written and excellently done, too! I loved it!

Well, thank you. Mind if I rewrite the whole thing, and submit it as a collaboration to the horror anthology?

Please do. I would be honored!!

Very good. I've been reading this story over and over again through all its revisions, lol, and this one was very good.

My only critique is that the last line shouldn't say, "He didn't stop screaming until the next day." Too cliche. I can see by the quality of your writing that you can come up with a better way to end it. Even if the ending isn't as satisfying as the cliche line, it will work better for readers, because it is less cliche.